Boss: Yeah, I have to have another colonoscopy in a couple months.
Employee: That sounds unpleasant.
Boss: Mmm-hm — colonoscopy, the ultimate home movie.
Tysons Corner, Virginia
Boss: Yeah, I have to have another colonoscopy in a couple months.
Employee: That sounds unpleasant.
Boss: Mmm-hm — colonoscopy, the ultimate home movie.
Tysons Corner, Virginia
College girl #1: I was talking with my dad about it over break, and he said I really shouldn’t worry about it because 90 percent of women get married. But if you think about it, that really isn’t a lot. I mean, what if I’m part of that 10 percent?
College girl #2: Well, that probably includes lesbians, though.
College girl #1: Yeah! That’s right! And disabled people!
Whitehead Road
Charlottesville, Virginia
Overheard by: Did she really say that?
Employee #1, about former boss: Why is her Facebook picture a bird?
Employee #2: She loved birds. She has a cajillion of them. When she worked here there was bird shit everywhere. There are still some remnants.
Falls Church, Virginia
Overheard by: My desk has a window
Assistant to receptionist: Remember that phone call you transferred to me earlier? The guy you thought was drunk? Turned out he was just Canadian.
Reston, Virginia
Serious boss: Tom*, we need to discuss the appropriate use of inflatable novelties at the beach.
Richmond, Virginia
Overheard by: Last day at work
Male co-worker on phone: So my toe is definitely broken. No jogging for at least four weeks. So, you wanna come over tonight? If I can’t run, then at least I can fuck my way to fitness.
Fairfax, Virginia
Boss: What about those materials needing to be sent out to our components?
Co-worker: Oh, I threw them in a box and shoved it under my chair. They were taking up too much room on my desk.
5205 Leesburg Pike
Falls Church, Virginia
Aspiring movie critic #1: I don't think Zac Efron will ever be able to do anything but High School Musical.
Aspiring movie critic #2: I know. He'll be like…the gym teacher in High School Musical 30.
Richmond, Virginia
Co-worker #1: Man! Sasha* is on the phone every time I go over there to talk to her.
Co-worker #2: Yeah, you’re right! She is! You know who else is on the phone a lot? Latoya*.
Co-worker #1: … She’s the receptionist…
Tysons Corner, Virginia
Co-worker #1: What are some common plastics?
Co-worker #2: Um, that list is really long. Just look for “polymers.”
Co-worker #1: Well, what are some common polymers?
Co-worker #2: No, really, that list is longer than my arm. Just look for stuff that starts with “poly.”
Co-worker #1: …Is ceramic a polymer?
Co-worker #2: Um. No.
500 Dulany Street
Alexandria, Virginia
Overheard by: Colleen
