Virginia

Counselor: Is that a Tupac T-shirt? You’re five. Tupac wasn’t alive when you were born. What do you know about Tupac?
Kid: I know the haters killed him.
Counselor: Touché.

Richmond, Virginia

Overheard by: SB

Older white boss, whispering angrily to female employees: Nobody fucks with my hos…

Richmond, Virginia

Overheard by: One of the ho’s (apparently)

Boss to underling: We'll see it harden up when people use it.

Tysons Corner, Virginia

VP on phone: Yeah, what’s wrong?
Niece on speaker phone: We’re lost. Can you pull up a map or something?
VP: Where are you and where are you going?
Niece: We’re going somewhere in Massachusetts, and we don’t know what state we’re in.

316 Warren Avenue
Front Royal, Virginia

Overheard by: not the dumbest anymore

Scatter-brained boss: Oh! Can I touch it?
Subordinate: Um.
Scatter-brained boss: Would you like to touch mine?

Fairfax, Virginia

Architect: There's too much…there are too many people thinking around here.

Charlottesville, Virginia

Office worker #1: I'm so damn hungry, I need real food.
Office worker #2: Yeah, I can imagine that liquid diet wouldn't be too filling or satisfying.
Office worker #2: I feel like I'm an African refugee.

Chantilly, Virginia

Client on phone: When can I schedule an appointment to conjugate a meeting?

315 North Great Neck Road
Virginia Beach, Virginia

Coworker on phone: Hi! Yes, I'm am looking for deer carcasses. I was hoping you can help me find some roadkill deer carcasses.

Virginia

Boss on phone: Hey, uh, I booked a vacation with you guys and pre-paid and everything, and uh, well, (pause) I don't really know how to say this, but uh, I did some things… You know, uh-uh-uh, things you do when you are on vacation, uh-uh-uh-uh-uh… and… uh, well I overslept and missed my flight back home, so I had to buy another airline ticket and want to know if I can get some of my money back.

Richmond, Virginia