CSR on phone: No ma'am… If I was out trying to bang my dick in a bar I wouldn't take the time to call you back.
Atlanta, Georgia
CSR on phone: No ma'am… If I was out trying to bang my dick in a bar I wouldn't take the time to call you back.
Atlanta, Georgia
Dude: Are you looking at pictures of naked women again?
Man: What kind of stupid question is that?
Dude: Yeah, sorry.
Man: Why don’t you ask me what I’m breathing? ‘Breathing some air there, huh? Boy, you sure do like your air.’
Dude: Yeah, I know, sorry. Hey — that one’s pretty.
Man: Tell me about it.
Starbucks
New York, New York
Cube rat: Hell, we were finding underwear on top of the refrigerator for two weeks.
400 N 5th Street
Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: AndyDan
Suit: It’s been a big thing. I’ve sent a bunch of emails about it.
Boss: Yeah, I’ve ignored them. Sorry.
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: It’s not my project
Manager, training new employee: If they call and are interested in strap-on play and ask for, say, mistress Lola, tell them she's been roaming the halls with her strap-on, humping the walls.
New employee, with wide eyes: Really?
Established employee, passing by: Only on Sundays.
Grand & Ogden
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Yes, It's a BDSM Dungeon
Worker: So, what's the plan for today?
Boss (loudly): Same thing as always. (now quietly) …try to take over the world.
Brooklyn Army Terminal
New York City, New York
Employee #1: So did you know that any time you reserve a conference room, you have to also make a separate reservation for the media equipment?
Employee #2: Yeah, you always have to make a separate reservation for the equipment.
Employee #1: So when I reserved the conference room, why didn’t you tell me I needed to make a separate reservation for the equipment?
Employee #2: Well, you asked if they had it. You didn’t say you needed to USE it.
Santa Barbara, California
Office lady #1: What day is Thanksgiving on this year?
Office lady #2: I don't know… Thursday or Friday?
Springfield, Missouri
Overheard by: Jennifer Gerboth
Suit #1: I’m going to need that project done for Monday. Can you get on that right now?
Suit #2: It’s Friday, and I have beer to drink. It’s really going to have to wait.
4881 Yonge Street
Toronto, Ontario
Boss on speaker phone: So I need you to give me those files, like, in five minutes.
Employee: Um.
Boss: I’m serious. I want them in my hand in five minutes.
Employee: You know that I work at home, right?
Boss: So?
Employee: So I live forty-five minutes away from your so-called “office”…Speaking of which, did you ever get that toilet out of the hallway?
3207 Hayloft Court
Frederick, Maryland
Overheard by: Ren
