Tech #1: So, my friend is going to ask his girlfriend to marry him, and he wants to secretly get her ring size.
Tech #2: Measure her finger while she’s asleep.
Tech #1: What if she doesn’t sleep very soundly? What if she wakes up and is like, ‘What’s this thing on my finger?’
Tech #2: Get her really hammered.
Tech #1: She doesn’t really drink…
Tech #3: Then just hammer her!
Grand Rapids, Michigan
Overheard by: only girl in the office
(crunching water bottle noise)
Girl admin, in sassy tone: Hey! Those are the breast cancer water bottles–show some respect!
IT guy: Yeah–that's why I'm…
Girl admin: Squishing it?!
IT guy: You said it! Not me!
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: That's what she said
Tech guy to intern: If you take that network diagram, cut and paste it into word, save it as an mp3 and play it back, it will be circus music.
Solana Beach, California
Developer: “I’m sorry I gave you herpes.” They have a card for everything.
8920 Pershall Avenue
Hazelwood, Missouri
Production Tech: Oh that’s right, I forgot, someone else is going to have to pick up Dillon* on Friday. I’m gonna go get married.
859 Cotting Court
Vacaville, California
Records tech: I used to have more vacation time before I worked [in this department]! But I guess since I started taking vacations…
Manning Drive
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Overheard by: seftiri
Engineer: So, this system should give the operators a maximum of 200 blisters per minute.
Cambridge, Ontario
Canadia
Programming #1: I totally didn’t realize he was holding a bong.
Programming #2: That explains why the smores thing was funny.
11951 Freedom Drive
Reston, Virginia
Tech: I wonder if Bert and Ernie still share a bed.
555 International Way
Springfield, Oregon
Tech #1: So, why did the cops pick you up, again? For dressing like a transvestite?
Tech #2: Nah, for hitting my girlfriend. She clocked me back, though, and by the time the cops pulled up we were already making out.
W 28th Street
New York, New York
