By Bus?

Tech guy: Did you hear about all the snow in New York?
Help desk chick: Yeah, wow! That means it’ll be heading here to California.
Tech guy: (silence).

Imperial Highway Brea
California

Posted on August 21, 2021
California, Coworkers, Cubicles, Default, Employees, General Idiocy, Geography & History, Questions, Tech People, Weather

They Revoked His Geek Credentials That Same Day

Office worker: I can’t get into MAS. My codes aren’t working.
Tech, after trying to enter codes: What the fuck? Now the numbers aren’t even coming up.
Office worker, five minutes later: Uh, dude, you’re using my calculator.
Tech: Son of a bitch!

Illinois

Overheard by: G$

Posted on August 12, 2021
Illinois, Tech People, Technology

Does He Really Want to Marry Someone Who Doesn’t Drink?

Tech #1: So, my friend is going to ask his girlfriend to marry him, and he wants to secretly get her ring size.
Tech #2: Measure her finger while she’s asleep.
Tech #1: What if she doesn’t sleep very soundly? What if she wakes up and is like, ‘What’s this thing on my finger?’
Tech #2: Get her really hammered.
Tech #1: She doesn’t really drink…
Tech #3: Then just hammer her!

Grand Rapids, Michigan

Overheard by: only girl in the office

Posted on August 11, 2021
Advice, Body Parts, Michigan, Relationships, Substance Use & Abuse, Tech People, Words

No One Respects Breasts More Than a Man Who's Never Touched One

(crunching water bottle noise)
Girl admin, in sassy tone: Hey! Those are the breast cancer water bottles–show some respect!
IT guy: Yeah–that's why I'm…
Girl admin: Squishing it?!
IT guy: You said it! Not me!

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: That's what she said