I Think I Saw This Episode Of SVU…

Anthropology teacher: Yes, and when you see human remains… Actually, I have some bones in my car…
(class in stunned silence)
Student #1: Really?
Anthropology teacher: Oh, I always have bones in my car… I think I have some baby bones, too.
Student #1: I hope you never get pulled over.
Student #2: They'll think you're a serial killer!
Anthropology teacher: Well, I love dead bodies! I'll exhume you, I'll exhume him, I'll exhume your grandmother! I'll exhume anyone! (pause) Let me go get them.

Las Vegas, Nevada

Overheard by: He really is adorable, not creepy.

Posted on February 21, 2011
Death, Nevada, Questions, Students, Teachers, Weirdness

One More Time, People: It's Retardo-American

Male teacher: This is retarded.
Female special ed teacher: Did you actually say “retarded”?

Houston, Texas

Overheard by: Fellow Teacher

Posted on December 1, 2010
General Idiocy, Questions, Teachers, Texas, Words

…to Peel My Bananas!

Female teacher: You squashed my banana!
Male teacher: Here, just have my banana.
Female teacher: I don't want your banana.
Male teacher: Look, just eat my banana.
Female teacher: No!
(male teacher walks away in disgust)
Female teacher, shouting after him: I only like lady fingers!

Barwon Heads
Australia

Posted on November 26, 2010
Australia, Body Parts, Meals and Snacks, Sexuality, Teachers, Wishes

The Same Answer Given by the Constructors Of the New World Trade Center

Senior professor: So, Vladimir*, when will this project be finished?
PhD student: Time is a… dynamic thing!

University of Leuven
Belgium

Posted on September 9, 2010
Education, Europe, Science, Students, Teachers, Time Management

Blood!!

Ski instructor: Well, at least it's snowing today. Yesterday we had rain.
First time skier: Oh, so this is snow, is it? Not rain?
Ski instructor: Well, yeah…
First time skier: So what does rain look like up here?

Smiggin Holes
Australia

Overheard by: Emma

Posted on August 4, 2010
Australia, Compare and contrast, Questions, Students, Teachers, Weather

As Opposed to Using Those Darned Carrier Pigeons

Secretary: I waste so much time trying to make it clear and succinct, when on the phone I can just say, “send me this, I need it.” Honestly, I kick and scream when I have no other choice but to use the internet!
Cheerful academic, placatingly: Well, it's great for communicating with Rome and London!

Manhattan, New York

Posted on August 4, 2010
Admins, Gripes, Internet, New York, On the phone, Teachers

Adult Life Teaches You There's Always More Work

Post doctoral researcher, approaching end of contract: I can see light at the end of the tunnel, but I hope it's not another bastard with a torch holding more work.

KU Leuven
Belgium

Posted on June 30, 2010
Compare and contrast, Europe, Insults, Teachers, Wishes

Good to See Tech-Savvy People Going Into Education

Teacher: The 6th graders were videotaping themselves at the dance and then posting it on the tube you!

Elementary School
Phoenix, Arizona

Posted on June 24, 2010
Arizona, Education, General Idiocy, Internet, Teachers

I Just Study a Dead Language.

Professor: How are you today?
PhD student: I'm not dead.

College Park, Maryland

Posted on May 17, 2010
Death, Health & Hygiene, Maryland, Questions, Students, Teachers

In Case You Wonder What She's Talking About, Dear Reader

Professor: Many cultures handle cleanliness in many ways.
Female student: But just because you're OCD about being clean doesn't mean you're not susceptible to getting herpes.

Fullerton, California

Posted on November 12, 2009
California, Compare and contrast, General Idiocy, Health & Hygiene, Students, Teachers

Teachers

In Case You Wonder What She's Talking About, Dear Reader