Vice principal at Catholic high school: I'm really into sausage.
Aurora, Illinois
Vice principal at Catholic high school: I'm really into sausage.
Aurora, Illinois
Professor: So for Friday, you need me to get a big box.
University of British Columbia
Canadia
Anthropology teacher: Yes, and when you see human remains… Actually, I have some bones in my car…
(class in stunned silence)
Student #1: Really?
Anthropology teacher: Oh, I always have bones in my car… I think I have some baby bones, too.
Student #1: I hope you never get pulled over.
Student #2: They'll think you're a serial killer!
Anthropology teacher: Well, I love dead bodies! I'll exhume you, I'll exhume him, I'll exhume your grandmother! I'll exhume anyone! (pause) Let me go get them.
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: He really is adorable, not creepy.
Male teacher: This is retarded.
Female special ed teacher: Did you actually say “retarded”?
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Fellow Teacher
Female teacher: You squashed my banana!
Male teacher: Here, just have my banana.
Female teacher: I don't want your banana.
Male teacher: Look, just eat my banana.
Female teacher: No!
(male teacher walks away in disgust)
Female teacher, shouting after him: I only like lady fingers!
Barwon Heads
Australia
Senior professor: So, Vladimir*, when will this project be finished?
PhD student: Time is a… dynamic thing!
University of Leuven
Belgium
Ski instructor: Well, at least it's snowing today. Yesterday we had rain.
First time skier: Oh, so this is snow, is it? Not rain?
Ski instructor: Well, yeah…
First time skier: So what does rain look like up here?
Smiggin Holes
Australia
Overheard by: Emma
Secretary: I waste so much time trying to make it clear and succinct, when on the phone I can just say, “send me this, I need it.” Honestly, I kick and scream when I have no other choice but to use the internet!
Cheerful academic, placatingly: Well, it's great for communicating with Rome and London!
Manhattan, New York
Post doctoral researcher, approaching end of contract: I can see light at the end of the tunnel, but I hope it's not another bastard with a torch holding more work.
KU Leuven
Belgium
Teacher: The 6th graders were videotaping themselves at the dance and then posting it on the tube you!
Elementary School
Phoenix, Arizona
