All That Is Covered in the Illustrated Syllabus

Teacher: Okay, so now that you know the basic rules of the computer lab, I have to ask you one more question… Do any of you ever check out the NMBLA website? [Silence.] Well I do, frequently. I want to know who the enemy is. Also, I like to look at the new Russian brides on Fridays.

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Cupcake1

Posted on April 11, 2015
General Idiocy, Massachusetts, Questions, Teachers, Technology, The Classroom

They're the Wind Beneath My Woodwind

Professor: I like nuns. Nuns taught me to the play the clarinet. So I love nuns!

Suffolk County Community College, New York

Overheard by: Rachel

Posted on April 3, 2015
Education, Feelings, Music, New York, Religion, Teachers

… Instead of Just the FBI and Major League Baseball

Professor: Someone hacked into the university’s website, and now the Russian mafia has all of your information.

University of Arizona
Tucson, Arizona

Overheard by: Colleen

Posted on April 2, 2015
Arizona, Teachers, Threats

And a New Flogger

Older, proper female professor #1, giggling: Well, I guess after that I should probably just invest in a new turkey baster.
Older, proper female professor #2: I should say so, my dear.

Swarthmore, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: This place is killing me…

Posted on March 28, 2015
Health & Hygiene, Pennsylvania, Sexuality, Teachers

That Mathy Stuff Frightens Me

Professor: Well, then I saw that there were equations involved, so I freaked out.

3400 North Charles Street
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: LabCat

Posted on March 28, 2015
Gripes, Maryland, Teachers

At Least There's No Chance She'll Reproduce

Female high school student walking into guidance counselor's office with a group of friends: Oh, right! You're who we come to talk to about sex.
Guidance counselor: Ahh, yes…
Female student: Well, I don't need to talk to you because I don't do that.
Guidance counselor: Do what?
Female student: You know…sex. I don't do it 'cause I'm syllabus.
Guidance counselor: Ummmm, right.

Roxbury, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Miss

Posted on March 27, 2015
Education, General Idiocy, Massachusetts, Sexuality, Students, Teachers, Words

By the Three Year Mark I’ve Forgotten Everything but Hair Color

Poli-Sci professor: How was I supposed to remember her name? I had only lost my virginity to her five years earlier!

College
Wooster, Ohio

Posted on March 19, 2015
Gossip, Ohio, Teachers

But You’d Only Be Prosecuted for the Former

College student: So, if you stab someone and then stand there and watch them bleed to death, are you killing them or letting them die?
Logic professor: Well, I guess you would accomplish both.

Middle Tennessee State University
Murfreesboro, Tennessee