Male boss: So, earlier I walked down the hall calling your name, looking for you, but my wife is the one that responded…
Coworker, jokingly: That's because our names sound so much alike.
Male boss: No, I think it's because when we have sex I like to pretend she's a man and I call out your name.
Coworker: That's the most fucked-up thing you've ever said to me.
Charleston, South Carolina
Female coworker: I can't help it–when he's around, I go all weak in the vagina.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: you should probably get that checked out…
Lady in queue to group of young people: When I was at school I was referred to as being a bit odd. But I didn't mind being different, I enjoyed science subjects like biology. Learning about orgasms and bacteria. Wait! Did I just say what I think I said?
London
England
Overheard by: Misslead youth
Peon #1: He was basically using the frog as a Fleshlight.
Peon #2: What's a Fleshlight?
Allston, Massachusetts
Coworker about manager: What would I even say to him? Let's have sex again?
6th Avenue
New York City, New York
Male coworker: But Anne Heche is oddly hot, and she’d be okay with another woman in the bedroom. Plus, she’s insane, which makes her fun.
Female coworker: Well, guess if you’re fantasizing about someone bi and crazy she could be interesting…
Male coworker: See? See? I think she might actually be an alien. That’d be even better! Aliens are sexy.
Female coworker: No, no, now you’re just getting weird and nerdy. Aliens are not sexy.
Male coworker: I always imagined the female alien from Cocoon to be really sexy. She had a great body when the skin was on her, but there was something scary and yet awesome about the glowing part. I’d want her to keep her human skin on, but I imagine sex with her to be like nothing else you’ve ever imagined. And I imagine her kisses to taste like candy and electricity, like pop rocks or something.
Female coworker: Okay, now you’ve let me know too much information, and you’re still getting all nerdy.
Male coworker: Okay, you’re right. This is starting to sound weird.
Elmsford, New York
Overheard by: Bored Beyond Belief
Female coworker to another: Oh my… I've got wood in my mouth.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: DesignMonkey
Office worker: Well, I can't wait to diddle someone else…
East Hartford, Connecticut
Manager, explaining the loud sucking noises coming from her office: I'm sorry, it's so big it's hard not to slurp.
Santa Ana, California
Overheard by: That's What She Said
