AP clerk: It's a fetish. Do you know what they are?
Manhattan, New York
Large lady: What's for lunch today?
Regular lady: Mushroom risotto.
Large lady: Oh, I can't have mushrooms–they make me horny and I ain't got no one to be horny with no more.
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Aghast
Italian service guy: Maybe we can bring-a some nice-a cheese, some nice-a mozzarella…
Italian VP: This is a fishing trip! Bah, you've never been on a fishing trip. This isn't gonna be fun.
Rosedale, Maryland
Overheard by: Tempin' it up
Sales rep #1: So last night I told my husband I don't believe in anal sex.
Sales rep #2: Really? How'd that go?
Sales rep #1: Not so good.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Male employee, on his way out of meeting: And, by the way, I just want everyone to know that my jaw is still sore from yesterday.
Employee's boss, explaining to silent coworkers: He should probably add that he went to the dentist yesterday.
Denver, Colorado
Young wife sighing: All I pray for is a gay son.
Husband: All our sons will be straight.
Young wife: Just the youngest one can be gay. I need one gay son. You won’t even notice.
Husband: No, it won’t happen. Costa Ricans don’t have gay sons. And I want my name passed on.
Young wife: I’ll wait until you go to work, then put makeup and heels on him and let him be himself. I need someone to talk to when you are gone.
Sandwich shop
Woodcliff Lake, New Jersey
Manager to office: Homo-erotic staring contest starts… Now!
Val Vista Drive
Gilbert, Arizona
Rental manager: So I told my husband we should try that Enzyte or Extenze stuff. He was a little upset, but I told him, “you know what a big ol' slut I am, I wouldn't have married you if you didn't pay the bills and cut the mustard.”
Ypsilanti, Michigan
40-something office worker: I couldn't get a hold of my husband this morning, he's in China, but he's not black or a rich nerdy white guy, so I know he's not getting any while he's there.
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: eesh
