Sexuality

Lead designer to counter top installer: Just go drill her holes to make her shut up!

Carlsbad, California

Boss: This Chinese guy stroked my turtle.

Edmonton
Canadia

Lady: …and I told [Jeff] that I had really expected at least six inches last night.

1600 Oakley Park Road
Walled Lake, Michigan

Manager: Finally finished after the system went down on me, twice.

Omaha, Nebraska

Portly woman #1: You want half? It's thick, seriously… I can't finish that off.
Portly woman #2: I don't know if I'm up for that kinda mouthful today.

Delran, New Jersey

Overheard by: Bruce Banner

Female coworker: Oh my god, I just skooged all over you! I just shot my load!
(office is silent)
Female coworker: I was squishing my lotion and I even got it on my watch.

Manhattan, New York

Co-Worker #1: I have to go expose myself to Bob* and Mike* in a meeting now.
Co-Worker #2: Maybe I should skip that meeting.

1701 North Collins Boulevard
Richardson, Texas

Worker #1: There he goes, tossing his salad again. Isn’t that a phrase? Doesn’t that mean something? “Tossing the salad”?
Temp: Yes, it’s a phrase.
Worker #1: But what does it mean? Is it like, “I’m gonna kick your ass”? “I’m gonna toss your salad”?
Temp: Um, not exactly.
Worker #2: Yeah, I’ve heard that, too. What does that mean? Do you know?
Temp: Yes, I know, but it’s kind of inappropriate for work.
Worker #1: Oh really? What does it mean?
Temp: It’s inappropriate for work.
Worker #1: Oh come on, just tell me.
Temp: Well, it’s…analingus.
Worker #1: Oh. Really?
Worker #2: I never heard that.
Worker #1: “I’m gonna toss your salad”. Huh.
Worker #3: …If anyone was made uncomfortable by this conversation, come talk to me later.

900 3rd Avenue
New York, NY

Female cashier: Hey, is that your purple car out there?
Stock dude: Yeah, it is. The chicks love it.
Female cashier: I like it. I want a purple Probe.
Stock dude: Yeah…I heard that about you.

436 Southbridge Street
Auburn, Massachusetts

Overheard by: I heard that too.

Male custodian: Aw jeez, I just dropped my nuts on the floor.
Female custodian: Oh my goodness, look at the mess you've made!

Wisconsin

Overheard by: I Giggled