Coworker #1: I went to his booth last weekend and fondled it.
Coworker #2: What?
Coworker #1: No, because I have the jugs.
Coworker #3: Umm…
Syracuse University
Syracuse, New York
Coworker #1: I went to his booth last weekend and fondled it.
Coworker #2: What?
Coworker #1: No, because I have the jugs.
Coworker #3: Umm…
Syracuse University
Syracuse, New York
Office lady #1: It's so hot in here, I'm sweating like a banshee.
Office lady #2: Banshees scream or screech. You mean you're sweating like a pig.
Office lady #1: Don't call me a pig!
Worcester, Massachusetts
Male office worker to another: Dude, you smell like my grandma… And my grandma smells delicious!
Des Moines, Iowa
Coworker, to herself: Pills! I found pills! I found drugs! I am taking them!
Hanford, California
Employee #1: Dude, would you ever fuck a dead chick?
Employee #2: What? No! (pause) Would you?
Employee #1: Well, only if she was still warm.
Wheaton, Illinois
Overheard by: MindControlFun
Art director, after particularly greasy lunch: Uhhh. My fingers smell worse than it tasted.
Boulder, Colorado
Overheard by: the new guy
Admin #1: What are you eating? it smells terrible.
Admin #2: It's yogurt, for Christ's sake!
Admin #1: What kind of yogurt?
Admin #2: Strawberry yogurt!
Admin #1: With curdled strawberries! It stinks!
Admin #2: Look, Joe* was just here using the microwave to heat up ass.
Admin #1: That ass smelled delicious.
Fordham University
The Bronx, New York
Male intern: I like slaw. You know what slaw is awesome with? Jerk. Nothing beats a good jerk and a slaw.
Markham
Canadia
Coworker, troubleshooting on phone: Were you able to get that in? (pause) Yeah, it's kind of in the right spot. (pause) Well, don't be afraid to push harder.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: mason
Admin, poking head into boss' office: What's that smell?!
Boss: You can smell that?!
Admin: Yes, and it's definitely coming from here.
Boss: I got a sub and they put onions on it! I finally figured it out and moved my trash can outside the office!
Admin: Thanks a lot! It reeks.
Boss: Better you than me!
Admin: The perks of having a closed office.
Ottawa
Canadia
