Office girl #1: I hear some women have an orgasm when going through childbirth.
Office girl #2: Not unless you've got a finger in my butthole.
West Lafayette, Indiana
Office girl #1: I hear some women have an orgasm when going through childbirth.
Office girl #2: Not unless you've got a finger in my butthole.
West Lafayette, Indiana
Boss: Who likes fake ones? Sure, they feel real, but you can't suck on them without thinking, “damn, these taste fake.”
Fairfax, Virginia
Overheard by: WD40
Coworker #1: So I have this recipe for microwaveable fried rice. You might like it. I'll bring it in tomorrow.
Coworker #2: Did you just tell me, an Asian, to make microwave fried rice?! Not to mention if it's microwaved, then it's not fried rice. It's microwave rice.
Coworker #1: Well you gave me that chicken recipe the other day, and this recipe looks good so I thought I'd share it.
Coworker #2: Yeah? Well, liquid poop looks good too because it reminds me of chocolate, but you don't see me eating it.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Suit on cell: I touched my toes for the first time in ten years last Tuesday.
Los Angeles, California
Geek chick #1: Hey, you want to go to a Courvoisier tasting?
Geek chick #2: Sure, right now?
Geek chick #1: Right now and right here! (produces a bottle)
Geek chick #2: Oh. What is it, some kind of fancy liqueur?
Geek chick #1: I don't know! Busta Rhymes sang about it.
Geek chick #3: It smells like a hangover.
Geek chick #1: It smells like a horrible career! It smells like MTV in the 90s!
Geek chick #2: It's slightly numbing.
Geek chick #1: It's not as bad as I thought it would be.
Geek chick #3: Bottoms up! Whoooo!
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Middle-aged woman: Can I have extra sauerkraut with that? I love sauerkraut but never get it at home, even though I live in a neighborhood with lots of German food. It gives me gas.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: formerteenhero
Host #1: Can I have a piece of your gum?
Host #2: Sure.
Host #1: Thanks. Why do you always chew gum?
Host #2: I know this sounds weird, but I always feel like I need to have something in my mouth.
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: Speechless Server
Female manager on call: That thing is huge! Is it six inches?!
Lewiston, Maine
Office guy #1: It's a little cold, both inside and outside.
Office girl: But not in our hearts!
Office guy #2, points at girl's coffee mug: What are you drinking?
Office girl: Brandy.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: University Lackey
Female coworker in break room: When I die, I want it to be with something tasty in my mouth!
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Scott the Hoople
