Or at Least Get Workman's Comp.

Sales manager: Why are you brushing your hair with a stapler?
Office assistant: Well, I thought I could staple it.
Sales manager: (silence)

Fenton, Missouri

Overheard by: Catherine

Posted on January 27, 2009
Bosses, Employees, Missouri, Physical Appearance, Questions, Sales, Weirdness

Looks Like Al Gore's Lost His Keys Again

Salesman: That guy from the internet is gonna call soon. I think he's in the internet right now or he'd call now.

Indianapolis, Indiana

Posted on January 5, 2009
General Idiocy, Indiana, Internet, On the phone, Sales

Which Reminds Me–Send Out an Email Notifying Everyone That the Computers Are Down

Outdated salesmen: Why didn't you respond to my text?
Office lackey: I never received your text!
Outdated salesmen: From now on, when you don't get my text you have to call me and let me know.
Office lackey: (walks away mumbling)

Burnsville, Minnesota

Overheard by: Eric Bouchey

Posted on December 18, 2008
Employees, General Idiocy, Minnesota, Questions, Sales

I'm Told You're Extremely Bitter

Sales rep to manager: Your shirt is a very weird green. It reminds me of green tea.
Manager: Do you want to eat me?
Sales rep (staring silently): Uh no.

Oregon

Overheard by: I love green tea

Posted on December 17, 2008
Bosses, Clothes, Colors, Meals and Snacks, Oregon, Questions, Sales, Weirdness

Like a Stalk of Celery

Salesperson calling tech support: Let me hang up so I can call back and talk to someone dumber.

Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Posted on December 3, 2008
General Idiocy, Offers and requests, On the phone, Sales, Tech People, Wisconsin

Like a Programmer Even Knows What That Means?

(director of sales and marketing flips off female programmer)
Female programmer: Don't even finger me!
(rampant laughter)

Keene, New Hampshire

Overheard by: Monkey

Posted on November 20, 2008
Insults, New Hampshire, Sales, Sexuality, Tech People

What? It's on Your Resume, Ashley

Boss: I have a date tonight!
Sales girl: Just show lots of cleavage. That's what I do, and my dates always go well.
Boss: That's because you're a whore.

Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: The new guy

Posted on November 19, 2008
Body Parts, Bosses, Clothes, Comebacks, Georgia, Sales

Try the Baghdad Hilton

Salesgirl #1: Can you believe that shooting at the Montage Resort in Laguna Beach?
Salesgirl #2: Yeah, it's the front page of the LA Times.
Salesgirl #3: I could really use a weekend getaway…I wonder if they are doing a shooting death discount.

Venice, California

Posted on November 3, 2008
California, Crimes, Death, General Idiocy, Holidays, Sales, Violence

Worst. Apology. Ever

Visitor: Excuse me, receptionist? Do you mind getting me some coffee?
VP of sales: I'm sorry, I'm not the receptionist.
Visitor: Oh, I'm sorry…you look just like one.

Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Steals your good pens…

Posted on October 28, 2008
Bosses, Customers, Georgia, Meals and Snacks, Questions, Sales

You Say That About Every No-Sale

Sales guy #1: He could be a tranny.
Sales guy #2: Dave*, you are a retard.
Sales guy #1: You don't know! He could be a tranny!

Bonner Springs, Kansas

Posted on October 27, 2008
Insults, Kansas, Sales, Sexuality