Employee #1: So, if it’s 7:11 now, and I have a 30 minute break, what time do I have to be back?
Employee #2: Uh, 7:41.
Employee #1: How did you figure that out so fast?
Huron Road
Cleveland, Ohio
Employee #1: So, if it’s 7:11 now, and I have a 30 minute break, what time do I have to be back?
Employee #2: Uh, 7:41.
Employee #1: How did you figure that out so fast?
Huron Road
Cleveland, Ohio
Office girl #1: I want to start reading more books.
Office girl #2: Didn’t you just read yesterday?
11940 Jollyville Road
Austin, Texas
Coworker, trying to get security card out of pocket: Why would you stand there and let me unbutton my pants when you already had yours out?
Nashville, Tennessee
Hardhat #1 yelling to buddy in crane: How’d you get to be so tall?
Hardhat #2: Insanity.
Hardhat #1: Shamu?
Hardhat #2: No — insanity.
Hardhat #1: I can’t hear anything down here.
University of Arkansas
Fayetteville, Arkansas
Clueless VP, whispering right after lightbulb has exploded: What does it mean?
Park Avenue
New York City, New York
IT #1: She’s a nut.
IT #2: Most people are.
IT #1: What kinda nut do you think we are?
IT #2: Cashews because we’re unique and expensive.
IT #1: I guess we could be macadamians.
IT #2: Those are fatty.
30830 Northwestern Highway
Farmington Hills, Michigan
Elderly Boss: I need you to plug in this lamp for me.
Employee: Are you asking me to crawl [under your desk]?
Elderly Boss: You’re the only one who can. You’re my monkey.
703 McKinney Avenue
Dallas, Texas
Bank teller: Ma'am, from now on if you want your balance you'll need to request it.
Customer: How do I request it?
Bank teller: Well, ma'am, you just ask me for it.
Houston, Texas
Staff: You have a second?
IT: Nope, completely out of stock on those.
200 Front Street W
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Supervisor: I wonder if we could get her to move back here. What's keeping her in Austin?
Worker: She has a boyfriend.
Supervisor: Come on! You can get dick anywhere!
Dallas, Texas
