Customer to salesman: Well, let's order that lube so we can get it coming.
Colorado
Boss: He can work the balls so nicely. In both directions.
Baltimore, Maryland
Coworker #1: I love Ben Franklin!
Coworker #2: Me too. He's my favorite scientist!
Coworker #1: You should have a poster of him, and it could say something like “Monsters of Science.”
Boss: What?
Coworker #2: Oh, Ben Franklin is our favorite scientist.
Boss: Oh, I thought you were talking about some hunk.
Collegeville, Pennsylvania
Male co-worker : Is that Elaine* I hear? Does she want to see my tool?
Pause
Boss: Would you like to re-phrase that?
3001 8th Avenue
Evans Colorado
Female coworker: I don’t think being gay is a choice. When a baby is in the womb, it makes that decision.
200 Corporate Drive
Lebanon, New Jersey
Inspector: So, are you still a slave to Cox?
200 Quality Circle
College Station, Texas
Female coworker: She’s so adorable it makes me want to lick her stamps.
Wausau, Wisconsin
Minion #1: Oh, yeah, I try not to go shopping during the holidays.
Minion #2: You can’t avoid it — the music, the squealing children, everything — it’s like a peppermint orgy.
Assistant, startled: Uh, what?
12th and Peachtree
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Say what?
Male cop: Just so you know, no matter what she said, I was not trying to play with her boobs. I was just trying to throw something down in there… You can ask Susan* — she was there.
Augusta, Georgia
Overheard by: uh… didn’t need to know that
Girl: But I wouldn’t violate you in that way that would offend you, you know what I mean? Like, I just wouldn’t go that route.
1 New York Plaza
Overheard by: I would
