Female phlebotomist to male patient: I hope this is a size 25 needle. [Sticks him] Oh, no! This is a size 22 needle — it’s too small. Blood is rushing into the vein, see? It’s blowing up. I’m blowing you! … Oh my god, I don’t mean that!
Medical center
Medford, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Dr. Fred
Coworker #1: So, good weekend?
Coworker #2: I’m kinda beat. I was on my knees, hoeing all weekend.
Coworker #1: Ummm….Excuse me?
Coworker #2: Oh. That didn’t come out right. Maybe I should’ve just said ‘gardening.’
21500 Haggerty Road
Northville, Michigan
Partner #1: So, I explained to her that I didn’t feel that commercial sexual relationships constituted adultery. And she bought it.
Partner #2: Gotta love the commerce clause.
575 Madison Avenue
New York, New York
Female VP gay male VP: I would totally have sex with you.
Vancouver
Canadia
Female tech worker #1: I need muffins.
Male tech worker: I’ve got muffins.
Female tech worker #2: I bet you can have some of [male tech worker]’s muffins.
Female tech worker #3: All together now…
Male and females #2 and #3: Dirrrty!
5990 West Creek Road
Independence, Ohio
Overheard by: Geek Times Infinity
Bus boy #1: I went to the new hostess’s MySpace page.
Bus boy #2: The little mousey girl?
Bus boy #1: Turns out she’s bi. Got a picture on there of her getting nailed from behind by another chick with a strap-on.
Bus boy #2: God, if my mom would let me, I would marry her!
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Attorney to another: You are always a lot of fun when your dress ends up around your waist. Or your head. Or your feet.
1 Indiana Square
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Amanda
Mexican worker: Does my banana look sick to you?
Coworker: I am not looking over there.
306 Oak Court
Beavercreek, Ohio
Secretary: Oh, I thought that was [Jamie] coming in the elevator. It was you.
Boss: You must have really good ears if you could hear that.
141 South Willow Street
Eagle River, Wisconsin
Nurse to another nurse: So that’s how you get all those huge objects in your happy hole!
1600 SW Archer Road
Gainesville, Florida
Overheard by: SuperClerk
