I Am Shocked. Shocked!

Cube dweller: Do not Google ‘Britney Spears’ vagina.’ All you get is porn.

455 Broadway
New York, New York

Overheard by: Alex

Posted on April 24, 2015
Coworkers, New York, Possible Sexual Harassment

Why Muzzles Were Invented.

Director: There's an anti-harassment meeting tomorrow with the VP, so please no herpes jokes.
Sales rep: Okay.
Director: And no calling Kevin a pussy.
Sales rep: That was you!
Director: Yeah, but you were thinking it.

Charlotte, North Carolina

Posted on April 23, 2015
Bosses, Health & Hygiene, Insults, North Carolina, Possible Sexual Harassment, Sales, Sexuality

Hey, Thank the Restraining Order

Pretty woman: Thanks for fixing my computer!
Geeky computer guy: Maria*, you know I’m always thinking about you.
Pretty woman: And thanks for not calling that to my attention too often.

125th Street
New York, New York

Posted on April 22, 2015
Coworkers, New York, Possible Sexual Harassment

9AM Back to Work

Co-worker on phone: When she goes to a restaurant, does she normally take it off?…Does she normally read the newspaper?…And the pouch, were you able to stick your hands all the way down in the back?

37383 Six Mile Road
Livonia, Michigan

Overheard by: Next Door Nancy

Posted on April 19, 2015
Michigan, On the phone, Possible Sexual Harassment

I Do Eat a Lot of Chicken. Why?

German engineer: Yeah, it’s a backdoor thing, and I got him right in the morning.

29663 Arnold Drive
Sonoma, California

Overheard by: E40

Posted on April 16, 2015
California, Consultants, Possible Sexual Harassment, Science and engineering

Better Ask Somebody Your Own Age, Kiddo

Six-year-old girl at front desk: Do I look sexy?

1 Main Street
Valhalla, New York

Overheard by: Switters

Posted on April 14, 2015
Kids, New York, Possible Sexual Harassment, Questions

In the Crisper, behind the Lettuce

Female boss: We need to add more scrotum!
Male designer: … Are you serious?
Female boss: Yeah, apparently we’re missing a few.
Male designer: Got it. Where’s the scrotum?

Alpharetta, Georgia

Overheard by: The Other Designer

Posted on April 12, 2015
Bosses and Underlings, Georgia, Possible Sexual Harassment, Questions

What about a Carrot? I Could Do a Carrot, I Think

Employee: I got pulled over for speeding last week, but somehow I got out of the ticket. What is the best way to do that, really?
Boss who’s an ex-cop: I once had a guy tell me he had a cucumber shoved up his ass, so I took him to the hospital and found out it was true.
Employee: Did you give him the ticket?
Boss who’s an ex-cop: Hell no.

Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: I’ll take the ticket, thanks