What about a Carrot? I Could Do a Carrot, I Think

Employee: I got pulled over for speeding last week, but somehow I got out of the ticket. What is the best way to do that, really?
Boss who’s an ex-cop: I once had a guy tell me he had a cucumber shoved up his ass, so I took him to the hospital and found out it was true.
Employee: Did you give him the ticket?
Boss who’s an ex-cop: Hell no.

Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: I’ll take the ticket, thanks