Male sales manager to female coworker: Yes, I've taken the “Sexual harassment and workplace violence” classes, and I can do both!
Waterloo, Iowa
Male sales manager to female coworker: Yes, I've taken the “Sexual harassment and workplace violence” classes, and I can do both!
Waterloo, Iowa
Customer: I have not ordered this product.
Service person: But we have a contract that you have signed.
Customer: How do you think it feels if I rape you in your ass every month?
Service person: I’m sorry?
Customer: How do you think it feels if I rape you in your ass every month?
Service person: Would you do it like a gentleman?
Potsdam, Germany
Director of tech support, in heavy French accent: Busy week, yes. I have had to beat off many clients.
Tech dude: Wait, what?
Director: Oh, yeah. At least 30.
Tech support conference call
California
Co-worker #1: You have a thing for my stapler, don’t you?
Co-worker #2: I have to play with something. Better the stapler than myself.
127 Public Square
Cleveland, Ohio
Suit: I really don’t think my wife got a total abdominal hysterectomy in a dentist’s office… That’s probably the wrong code…
Palo Alto, California
Teacher discussing domain and range: Alright, here’s a good way to look at it. Okay, so think of the number four as a child. And two is its father, because two squared is four. But wait, couldn’t negative two squared also be four? That’s why you need to limit the domain to be ‘X is greater than zero.’
Girl student #1: So, the moral of the story is to keep your housewife away from the mailman?
Teacher: Uh…
Girl student #2: Oh my god! My mailman is so hot!
High school
Florida
Boss: If it weren't inappropriate and illegal, I would hug and kiss you right now.
Assistant: (awkward laugh)
Los Angeles, California
VP: They were used to our company being Mr Goodbar, Mr Good Humor guy, but not anymore. If I want her to embrace it, she gotta have more skin in the game.
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: Redacted
Candidate to recruiter: If they just look at the back of my resume, they'll get a hard on.
Raleigh, North Carolina
Cube imprisoned evil overlord: Eeeeww! Every time I see you touch that handle it just makes me want to bathe you in hand sanitizer. Um… I mean bathe your hands? in sanitizer.
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
