Female coworker #1: Stop pouting. That might be appropriate behavior with a sexual partner, but it isn't appropriate among your coworkers.
Female coworker #2: If I offer you sexual favors, would that make it okay?
Manhattan, New York
Female coworker #1: Stop pouting. That might be appropriate behavior with a sexual partner, but it isn't appropriate among your coworkers.
Female coworker #2: If I offer you sexual favors, would that make it okay?
Manhattan, New York
Agent on phone: Good afternoon, Mrs. Arrington*. I just wanted to remind you to purchase a very snug belt before July 20th because you will get your pants rocked off.
6000 East Camelback Road
Scottsdale, Arizona
Office drone: You need to shake it… to get every last bit out of it.
Durango, Colorado
Coworker #1: I got an extra sausage which I haven't touched. Do you want it?
Coworker #2: Is that a pick-up line?
El Segundo, California
Colleague #1: Just put it in your mouth!
Colleague #2: No! I've licked it and I don't like it.
Chippenham
England
Overheard by: Betty
Female phlebotomist to male patient: I hope this is a size 25 needle. [Sticks him] Oh, no! This is a size 22 needle — it’s too small. Blood is rushing into the vein, see? It’s blowing up. I’m blowing you! … Oh my god, I don’t mean that!
Medical center
Medford, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Dr. Fred
Coworker #1: So, good weekend?
Coworker #2: I’m kinda beat. I was on my knees, hoeing all weekend.
Coworker #1: Ummm….Excuse me?
Coworker #2: Oh. That didn’t come out right. Maybe I should’ve just said ‘gardening.’
21500 Haggerty Road
Northville, Michigan
Partner #1: So, I explained to her that I didn’t feel that commercial sexual relationships constituted adultery. And she bought it.
Partner #2: Gotta love the commerce clause.
575 Madison Avenue
New York, New York
Female VP gay male VP: I would totally have sex with you.
Vancouver
Canadia
Female tech worker #1: I need muffins.
Male tech worker: I’ve got muffins.
Female tech worker #2: I bet you can have some of [male tech worker]’s muffins.
Female tech worker #3: All together now…
Male and females #2 and #3: Dirrrty!
5990 West Creek Road
Independence, Ohio
Overheard by: Geek Times Infinity
