Office guy #1: Are you coming over tonight?
Office guy #2: Yeah, I'll be there.
Office guy #1: Okay, I'll pull it out and wipe it off.
Regina
Canadia
Overheard by: Vince
Office guy #1: Are you coming over tonight?
Office guy #2: Yeah, I'll be there.
Office guy #1: Okay, I'll pull it out and wipe it off.
Regina
Canadia
Overheard by: Vince
CCA: So, I have to get some KY jelly for my puppy. I’ve never really lubricated a dog’s rectum before, you know?
Sackville, New Brunswick
Canadia
Engineeron phone to production guy: Let me call you back. I might have someone check the Mandarin label for correctness.
. . .
Engineer on phone to production guy: Yeah, Pei* can come by tomorrow at 8:00am to check the label. Is that OK?
Production guy: No.
Engineer: Oh, is that a problem?
Production guy: Yeah, there are a lot of much better looking Chinese girls in the building.
Engineer: Uh…You are on speaker phone.
Three-second silence.
Production guy: Well uh yeah, that should be fine.
800 Beaty Street
Davidson, North Carolina
Designer: Gosh, I just hate when you’re watching a porn and they cut to the guy’s face. It’s always such an unfortunate time. I should write a letter of complaint.
IT guy: Yeah, if you only had a free hand.
Leverington Avenue
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: JB
Two nursing assistants were feeding old men at the home.
Nursing assistant #1: Wow, you’re a really awesome chewer.
Nursing assistant #2: I bet you say that to all the guys.
694 Isaac Prugh Way
Kettering, Ohio
Manager: Come here, I've got a job for you.
Employee: I've got a job for you, too. (pause) And bring some chapstick, I don't like the lips to chafe.
Carrboro, North Carolina
Overheard by: Pizza girl
HR rep to coworker: I could, like, totally get a raise if I slept with him.
Coworker: Haven't you already?
Leavenworth, Kansas
Doctor, on conference call: I might be teaching you to suck eggs…
Alexandria, Virginia
Young, blonde female: Um, wow, I just cracked my spine and grew, like, an inch.
Male supervisor: Yeah, I just grew, like, an inch watching you.
3rd Street and Colorado Street
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Miss Informed
Cashier to saleswoman holding a box of sweets: Hey! Why didn't I get a box of sweets?
Saleswoman: Because your title isn't “manager”. He gets a hug, and maybe a little pinch on the tushy.
Bedford, New York
Overheard by: Black Friday Shopper
