Secretary to another: So I had a dream that you and I murdered Ryan, and all I could think was I was upset because I just friended him on Facebook.
Allentown, Pennsylvania
Secretary to another: So I had a dream that you and I murdered Ryan, and all I could think was I was upset because I just friended him on Facebook.
Allentown, Pennsylvania
Employee #1: You know we have envelopes with windows so you don't have to print an envelope?
Employee #2: Yeah, but it's sad news… So I thought it deserved its own envelope.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Manager: So to get to know each other a little better I'm going to ask you all to answer this question: if you were an animal, what would it be? I'd be a cat, I think.
Cashier #1: A chinchilla. They're cute.
Cashier #2: A guinea pig, because they're awesome.
Cashier #3: A bird, so I could shit on anybody who tried to shit on me.
(long awkward pause)
Manager: Okay. That's a good answer too.
Selinsgrove, Pennsylvania
Team member: Hey, Kim, do you spell your name with an 'i' or a 'y'?
Kim: I spell it k-i, but I love k-y.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Jodie
Cube rat, describing boss: Boy, he sure has a big berth.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Bimbette #1: It happened again last night.
Bimbette #2: You gagged?
Bimbette #1: Yeah. I even practiced with a tongue depressor first!
Bimbette #2: That sucks.
Coatesville, Pennsylvania
Geek #1: It's really hard to find an adult Girl Scout costume.
Geek #2: I wonder why, I'm sure there are fat Girl Scouts. (pause) I'm not saying you're fat! I'm just saying you're old.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Had to run from the room.
Woman to friend: I'm just saying, when she find out he lives with his wife… Gurl, she ain't gonna like it.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Lee
Grad student #1: Dude, don't get defensive, but we all have a theory that you're going to snap like that guy from Yale.
Grad student #2: What?! I'm nothing like that guy!
Grad student #1: But you're a control freak, and you have anger issues.
Grad student #2: I'm not a control freak! I just get pissed off at people when they don't do what they're supposed to!
University Park, Pennsylvania
Young office worker to coworker, just before lunch: I had unprotected sex last night, so I have to run out and get the morning-after pill. Do you want me to grab you something while I'm out?
Trevose, Pennsylvania
