Male co-worker #1: So what did you do for your birthday.
Male co-worker #2: Oh, the usual. Just some presents and breakfast in bed.
Female co-worker: My husband usually gets a blow job for his birthday.
Forbes Tower, University of Pittsburgh
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
CSR: I always put ’25’ when it’s supposed to be ’52.’ I must be anorexic.
1500 JFK Boulevard
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: indigo
Exasperated meeting contact: I think the temp I hired is mildly retarded, so I’m going to need your help with this.
Concierge: My mother drank and smoked while pregnant with me.
Penn and Liberty Avenues
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Cube rat: So, does he know that you gave him herpes? You know, it’s one thing to give him herpes, but his daughters, too?!
Chestnut Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Sales manager: Being an alcoholic is much cheaper than being married.
Tanbark Drive
Greentown, Pennsylvania
Coworker #1: What is that, you heart monitor or something?
Coworker #2: No, it's Window's Media Player.
Media, Pennsylvania
Underling: So do I submit my yearly review to you or Robert?
Boss: Why are you being so anal about the reviews? They don't matter anyway.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Teacher: Does anyone know what Sputnik was?
Student: That’s, like, a dog, right?
High school
Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Kong
IT guy #1: What is boxing day, anyway?
IT guy #2: Well, I Wikipedia-ed it and could only gather that it either has to do with killing birds, beating up servant girls, or selling off Christmas stuff nobody wants.
650 Park Avenue
King of Prussia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Dani
Coworker #1: I love Ben Franklin!
Coworker #2: Me too. He's my favorite scientist!
Coworker #1: You should have a poster of him, and it could say something like “Monsters of Science.”
Boss: What?
Coworker #2: Oh, Ben Franklin is our favorite scientist.
Boss: Oh, I thought you were talking about some hunk.
Collegeville, Pennsylvania
