Coworker to another who just took a bite of his lunch: Oh great, now I have your DNA in my mouth!
West Chester, Pennsylvania
Coworker to another who just took a bite of his lunch: Oh great, now I have your DNA in my mouth!
West Chester, Pennsylvania
Woman in lobby: I don't like 'em runny. I like 'em nice and stiff.
Horsham, Pennsylvania
Guy: It took me two hours to shovel my driveway this morning.
Girl: Why don't you get a snow blower?
Guy: Because they're expensive.
Girl: Why don't you split it with your neighbor? Then you could take turns blowing each other.
Plymouth Meeting, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: shovel buddy
Customer squinting at ‘No cell phones’ sign: Why do we have to turn off our cell phones? What happens if you use them in the tanning bed?
Tanning consultant: You’ll die.
222 Plaza, 5th Street Highway
Pennsylvania
Secretary #1: Did Jack come to work today?
Secretary #2: I don't know, I think he called in sick.
Secretary #1, on phone with front desk: Hey, is Jack off today?
Indiana, Pennsylvania
Coworker #1: He has a penis, you know…
Coworker #2: Who?
Coworker #1: Jesus.
Mountville, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Where did that come from?
Office mate (confused after not getting the whole story): You paraphrase like a boy. We're girls, we want to hear the truth.
Lancaster, Pennsylvania
Lady peon #1: Are you going to participate in Lou’s retirement party?
Lady peon #2: Yes — I’m going to jump out of the cake.
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: The Quotable Cubicle
Man on phone: Now, is this something that if I open it at home, it'll explode? Oh, right, in case a group of nuns is taking a tour. Well, thank you uncle Eugene! I hope you shoot something this weekend!
Scranton, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Who exactly is this Uncle Eugene?
Manager: Tell him we can sell it to him for 15,500.
Sales Rep: But we own it for, like, 21,600!
Manager: I know! But he ain’t gonna buy it anyway!
Sales Rep: But what if he says “I’ll take it!”? Then what?
Manager: Then you’re fucked!
Sales Rep: Why am I fucked?
Manager: Cause you’re the one telling him it’s 15-fucking-5!
3243 Paxton Street
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Doug Pintarch
