Coworker #1: So I have decided that I'm only going to do work when the boss is in the office.
Coworker #2: Haha! That is so awesome!
Coworker #1: I feel like it's only fair, if she isn't going to be here working, why should I work?
Coworker #2: I agree, she is the captain of this ship, after all.
Coworker #1: And, if I'm forced to do work, for example take a telephone call, I will document the time so that in the future I can make up that time back by not working.
Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania
Surgeon: So, you’re dating a nurse… What kind?
PA #1: Beats the hell out of me… I’m just hoping she’s a head nurse — you know, with dirty knees.
PA #2: Awesome.
Hospital
Western Pennsylvania
Female HR manager: I got so drunk last night, I slept in just my socks!
Disinterested female coworker: Ummm, good for you?
Female HR manager: It's one of my levels of drunkenness. It means I'm really drunk.
Disinterested female coworker: Okay.
Female HR manager: You know why I picked this long dress to wear today?
Disinterested female coworker: Ummm, no, why?
Female HR manager, proudly: Because I could skip the underwear!
Horrified female coworker: (silence)
Female HR manager: I think I might still be drunk.
Horrified female coworker: I'm starting to wish I was.
Great Valley, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: everybody has their freak flag
Co-worker: So I said to myself, “Oh look, the bathrooms in building 12 have yellow tiles.” Then I saw the urinals.
1110 American Parkway NE
Allentown, Pennsylvania
Male staffer: There may be a problem.
Female manager: With what?
Male staffer: I was just typing an e-mail about a birth certificate. Twice I typed “bitch” instead of “birth”.
Female manager: Oooh!
Male staffer: I corrected it before I sent it, though.
Female manager: Thank goodness. (pause) Gotta say, though, that I would love to have a bitch certificate. I mean, I do just fine without one, but it would be nice to have the formal recognition.
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Michael
(toilet, stall to the left)
Coworker: Corn? Corn? When did I have corn?
Harrisburg , Pennsylvania
Overheard by: in between stalls
Coworker #1: I feel so bad for them.
Coworker #2: I know, their son is in a coma and only has 30% of his brain working. He's a vegetarian.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Can't believe no one else heard that
Supervisor: Today is my older son's birthday. He's 12 now.
Underling: Uh-oh. He's a tween!
Supervisor: Yeah, he's feeling himself.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: hopefully not at school
Head honcho: We should get on a pooping schedule!
Unidentified underling: (laughs nervously)
Head honcho: It's time for you to poop!
Altoona, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: What's My Pee Telling Me?
Disgruntled employee at table filled with others: I don't know what's gonna win the race: a heart attack, finding a new job, or getting laid off.
Blue Bell, Pennsylvania
