Boss: Does anyone need this 2005 calendar?
Grunt: No thanks; my time machine is broken.
414 South Main Street
Independence, Oregon
Boss: Does anyone need this 2005 calendar?
Grunt: No thanks; my time machine is broken.
414 South Main Street
Independence, Oregon
Guy on cell: I can hardly hear you. It sounds like you’re in a coffin.
Beaverton, Oregon
Overheard by: brian
Girl: Ummm… You need boy juices in order to make a baby.
610 Broadway
Portland, Oregon
Assistant: Wait, it doesn’t look like the data was deleted when you opened the program.
Boss: What? I thought it was supposed to suck ’em off!
Assistant: What?
Boss: Suck ’em off! Suck ’em off until they’re empty!
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Working on my resume
CEO, to no one in particular: So we're talking to this fucking prick up in Alaska, and I keep hearing this whistling. So I say “hey man, what the fuck is that noise? Turns out it's his fucking parrot, so I tell him to kill the fucker. Who has parrots?
Portland, Oregon
Coworker in response to email she just got: Oh my god, Sandy*, you stupid whore.
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: other side of the cube
Coworker dissing fire-making skills on Survivor: I would learn to light a fire before I went. I would have to stick the matches up my cooch.
Portland, Oregon
Whiny cube dweller: But I just really enjoy my sausage in the morning, ya know?
Coburg, Oregon
Techie: I’m sorry about the delay. We’re using a new system, and I liked the old system. I’m a creature of habit and resist change.
Customer: Tell me about it; I’m with the Archdiocese.
555 International Way
Springfield, Oregon
Director to manager: Oh, that. I forgot about that. Actually, I didn't forget it. I just didn't remember that I knew it.
Oregon
Overheard by: gurltech
