Worker: Yup, it takes a lot more than a million dollars to be a millionaire these days.
Hermiston, Oregon
Worker: Yup, it takes a lot more than a million dollars to be a millionaire these days.
Hermiston, Oregon
Boss of technology dept: The speaker on my phone doesn't work.
Employee: Why don't you switch it with the one in the conference room?
Boss: But then I won't have the same phone number.
Beaverton, Oregon
Overheard by: i need a cocktail
Coworker, hanging up: I am the Tiger Woods of mortgage lending.
Portland, Oregon
Orientation presenter: In all the code fives I've responded to over the years, there's only been one that involved a weapon. But if you hear “code five lobby” announced overhead, and then you hear shots fired, don't go into the lobby!
Albany General Hospital
Albany, Oregon
Overheard by: Naomi
Coworker: I made a conscious effort not to wear any perfume today in case it was causing you to sneeze, so if I stink, it's your fault.
Conversation disruptor: I love your stink.
Beaverton, Oregon
Overheard by: Sneezy
Secretary: The mailman was supposed to come back today, but I haven’t seen him yet.
Agent: Which mailman was it? The old guy, or the nerdy guy with the glasses?
Secretary: No, it was an Asian guy.
Agent: Oh. He’s probably having lunch again.
1610 SE Bybee Boulevard
Portland, Orgeon
Admin assistant: What do you mean you don’t have sex? You live with your boyfriend!
Receptionist: Yeah, once you have the fish in the boat, there’s no reason to keep throwing out the lure.
12th Street
Portland, Oregon
Tech: I wonder if Bert and Ernie still share a bed.
555 International Way
Springfield, Oregon
Call center worker #1: How do you spell “real”?
Call center worker #2: Umm…I think it’s r-a-e-l.
Call center worker #1: Thanks…Are you sure? That doesn’t look quite right.
Call center worker #2: Yeah. Like Is. Is-rael. Isreal. Yeah!
26600 SW Parkway
Wilsonville, Oregon
Nurse: She’s been so much better today. Chatty. She still walks around like this [puts chin to chest], but she came up to me and was like, "How are you today?" I said, "Huh? Oh, I’m fine!" Maybe it’s the Celexa.
Psychiatrist: Actually we’re weaning her off the Celexa. We started her on Effexor.
Nurse: Oh, well, maybe that’s it.
Psychiatrist: She’s only been on it one day. That wouldn’t really be long enough.
Nurse: No, that’s not… Celexa… I think I was taking that when I got into a fight at the airport. You know those guys with the M-16s? Well, I told this one bitch I was gonna jump over the counter and take her out.
Girl: That was Celexa?
Nurse, smiling: Yeah.
Oregon State Hospital
Salem, Oregon
