Oregon

Any Excuse to Tell That Story

Nurse: She’s been so much better today. Chatty. She still walks around like this [puts chin to chest], but she came up to me and was like, "How are you today?" I said, "Huh? Oh, I’m fine!" Maybe it’s the Celexa.
Psychiatrist: Actually we’re weaning her off the Celexa. We started her on Effexor.
Nurse: Oh, well, maybe that’s it.
Psychiatrist: She’s only been on it one day. That wouldn’t really be long enough.
Nurse: No, that’s not… Celexa… I think I was taking that when I got into a fight at the airport. You know those guys with the M-16s? Well, I told this one bitch I was gonna jump over the counter and take her out.
Girl: That was Celexa?
Nurse, smiling: Yeah.

Oregon State Hospital
Salem, Oregon

For Some Reason, I Picture Debra Winger in This Role

Coworker: I’m lucky I wasn’t raised by my mother. I’d have turned out a total slut. She’d wear high heels to her job at the sawmill.

Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: Innocent Bystander

Does It Matter That It's a Black Car?

Dispatch: Got a report of a small black car going very fast.
Officer: Any other description besides “small black car”?
Dispatch: It's going very fast.
Officer: Thanks… Over.

Police Scanner
Oregon

Overheard by: Mike

But it Just Plays it on TV

Associate director, eating a hamburger: This is really good.
Executive director: Yeah, isn’t it? It’s their Angus burger. It’s like real meat.

Southern Oregon

Overheard by: research associate

From the Runaway Best Seller ‘Affirmations for Stupid People’

Manager, to himself: I am a ball of fire. I am a BALL OF FIRE.

Far reaches of Eugene, Oregon

9AM Back to Work

Co-worker #1: Man, I could use a nap.
Co-worker #2: I’m right there with you…Well, not right there with you.

111 SW Fifth Avenue
Portland, Oregon

It Comes and Goes

Patient: I’m worried about this birthmark.
Doctor: Birthmark, you say? How long have you had it?

Portland, Oregon

Every Office Has One Person Who's Confused by Metaphors

Lab tech #1, about piece of lab equipment: You have to make love to it.
Lab tech #2: Oh! That's way too big!
Lab tech #1: You just have to finesse it.
Lab tech #2: No, seriously, that's really big.

Eugene, Oregon

I Speak Several Sub-Saharan Languages

Boss: Can you come help me with this Excel thing? I deleted something that I needed.
Admin: Okay. Well, you should just click “undo”.
Boss: What's “clickundo”?

Dayton, Oregon

Overheard by: glad to be in a different department

10AM Jury Selection

Defense attorney: Good morning prospective ladies and gentlemen — I mean, jurors.

125 East 8th Avenue
Eugene, Oregon

Overheard by: the unchosen

© 2024 OverheardinTheOffice.com
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist