Peon: Barry*, did you put a folder on my computer called ‘Horse porn’?
Barry: No.
Beaverton, Oregon
Secretary: She said she’s having trouble with her desktop…
Manager: Her desktop or her laptop?
Secretary: Desktop.
Manager: So the one that sits on the desk, or the one that she can carry around with her?
Secretary: Yes.
Portland, Oregon
Client: I’ve talked to some of these people applying online. They’re a little scary — it’s not like they’re Menses candidates.
Portland, Oregon
Boss #1: We should really think about selling those apartments as condos.
Boss #2: Saying “condo” to a bank right now is like saying “cunt”
(stunned silence)
Boss #1: Personally, I kind of like the word “cunt.”
Meadows Road
Portland, Oregon
Boss lady: How was your weekend?
Top employee: Well, I spent Sunday morning in the hospital because…
Boss lady, interrupting: Was it because you're a cracked-out whore?
Forest Grove, Oregon
Overheard by: Jessi-ca
Intercom: Hey, how do you spell Sarah with an “h”?
Assistant: Yes.
3350 Tillamook Street
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Carrie Cole
Elevator geek: An IUD is not a weapon. It's a contraceptive.
Elevator cougar: Depends on who you ask.
Portland, Oregon
Frustrated coworker, about daughter with object in her ear: I am not rewarding her for putting something in her body!
Tigard, Oregon
Male suit: Meetings are like suction cups. They stick to things and leave a lasting mark that's tough to clean off. They can be useful in some instances, though they almost always suck, and when they don't suck people try and make them suck in a different location.
Underling: You forgot to add, though, that when they aren't working right, you can always start licking to see it that helps. A little moisture always makes things more interesting.
Central Point, Oregon
Overheard by: Turbo
