Luckily They'll All Forget This Conversation in Three Seconds

Office worker #1: Guess what I have?
Office worker #2: Herpes?
Office worker #1: No, actually I have a Snapple lid with random fact #1, can you believe it? The first snapple fact! “Goldfish only have an attention span of 3 minutes.”
(silence)
Office worker #3, a row away: If you had herpes, that would have been more interesing.
Office worker #1: Go to hell.

http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2008/08/goldfish.html

Overheard by: e c.

Posted on December 21, 2009
Animals, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, General Idiocy, Health & Hygiene, Oregon, Questions, Time Management

Stan May Have Vomited on Wendy Once Too Often

Female coworker to friend: I just don't know what to do… Kissing him literally makes me sick!

Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: Carrie

Posted on December 4, 2009
Coworkers, Friends, Health & Hygiene, Oregon, Sensory Experiences, Sexuality, Weirdness

…Speaking Of Which, My Whore Is Coming by at Two.

Boss: Where have you been the past week?
Agent: I went fishing with friends.
Boss: Why?
Agent: I love fishing with friends, and I took a vacation.
Boss: Listen, I love fucking and drinking, but you don't see me taking a week off to do that.

Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: Nicole

Posted on October 29, 2009
Bosses and Underlings, Compare and contrast, Drinking, Oregon, Questions, Sexuality, Travel, Vacation

So Let's Just Say My Gyno and I Did a Little Finagling

Office worker: You can't take anything into the prison. But I totally want to take a picture. For prosperity.

Oregon

Overheard by: Hutch

Posted on August 20, 2009
Crimes, Employees, Oregon, Weirdness

The Eternal Question

Female security to male engineer who had again forgotten ID badge: I don't know why you guys don't just put it in your pants and just leave it there!

Portland, Oregon

Posted on July 2, 2009
Body Parts, Clothes, Cops, Engineers, Oregon, Sexuality

It's Sweet That You Think You're Attractive, Bonnie

Coworker: Oh, what a cute baby! Maybe you'll have a baby that cute!
Pregnant coworker, looking at pic of cute baby on internet: I'm not counting on it.
Coworker: Ummm…why?
Pregnant coworker: Have you ever noticed how the most attractive people always have the ugliest babies? Yeah, I am not having a cute kid.

Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: Noodle

Posted on April 24, 2009
Coworkers, Family, Internet, Oregon, Physical Appearance, Weirdness

Like, Remember How We Hooked Up at the Last Christmas Party?

Male worker #1, talking about the future: We probably will all be huge fat blobs staring into our computer screens, like in Wall-E.
Female worker: I doubt it. I bet they'll have a drug that makes everybody really attractive.
Male worker #2: They already do! It's called “alcohol.”

Portland, Oregon

Posted on April 20, 2009
Cinema, Coworkers, Drinking, Oregon, Physical Appearance

I'm Told You're Extremely Bitter

Sales rep to manager: Your shirt is a very weird green. It reminds me of green tea.
Manager: Do you want to eat me?
Sales rep (staring silently): Uh no.

Oregon

Overheard by: I love green tea