You've Just Said a Mouthful!

Teen on cell: Well, you know … She just has that certain “jism” that is so attractive.

Omaha, Nebraska

Overheard by: You Mean Mojo

Posted on January 31, 2011
Compliments, Nebraska, On the phone, Physical Appearance, Sexuality

Sometimes, When I'm in a Bad Mood, It Spits Fire.

Skinny teenage girl on phone to friend: So anyway, I told him he ain't giving me oral sex first thing in the morning. It's like, so gross. My vagina might get morning breath!

Kingswood
Australia

Overheard by: breath mints anyone?

Posted on January 27, 2011
Australia, Body Parts, Friends, Offers and requests, On the phone, Sexuality

…As George W. Bush Famously Said.

Coworker's friend, on speakerphone: I do nothing useful in this organization, and I'm committed to continuing to do just that.

Manhattan, New York

Posted on January 26, 2011
Coworkers, New York, On the phone, Philosophy, Time Management

Best. Parent. Ever.

Coworker on phone: Are you sitting down? Okay… I need you to understand you do not feed dog food to your sister. What you did was not okay. Your punishment is no iPod, no computer, no television, you are grounded to your room. You love to write, right? Well, I want you to go to your room and write a story of two sisters who love each other, but one sister was mean and tricked her sister into eating dog food. This sister must apologize to her sister that she tricked, and to mom and dad. You will read this story aloud.

Silicon Valley
California

Posted on January 20, 2011
Animals, Coworkers, General Idiocy, Meals and Snacks, On the phone, Relationships, Weirdness

When Pastry Chefs Go on a Third Date

Female billing agent on cell: Girl, you should have seen me on Saturday I was sweatin, I had cake all in my hair… I. Was. A. Mess.

Delran, New Jersey

Overheard by: Bruce Banner

Posted on January 20, 2011
Employees, Meals and Snacks, New Jersey, On the phone, Weirdness

Socrates Got This from His Minions All the Time

IT gal on phone: Well, that's what you get for knowing so much! If you only knew one thing, like me, it'd be easy… And I don't even know it that well!

Kansas City, Missouri

Posted on January 20, 2011
Compliments, Missouri, On the phone, Tech People, Technology

At the Boston Sex Education Hotline

Coworker on phone: Thanks! I'll definitely get naked for my husband!

Boston, Massachusetts

Posted on December 29, 2010
Body Parts, Massachusetts, On the phone, Relationships

…Oh Wait — Beep Beeeeep!! — Now It's a Fax!

Guy on phone: No, I'm not calling you. I'm not calling you right now. I'm e-mailing you. This is an e-mail, not a phone call.

Toledo, Ohio

Overheard by: Confused Puppy

Posted on December 29, 2010
General Idiocy, Internet, Ohio, On the phone

…Hello?…Hello?

Coworker on phone: My cell phone stopped working, it fell into the soup I had for lunch. What should I do?

Seattle, Washington

Posted on November 25, 2010
Accidents, Coworkers, Meals and Snacks, On the phone, Technology, Washington

…Show That USB Plug Who's Boss

Coworker, troubleshooting on phone: Were you able to get that in? (pause) Yeah, it's kind of in the right spot. (pause) Well, don't be afraid to push harder.

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: mason

Posted on November 24, 2010
Advice, Coworkers, On the phone, Sensory Experiences, Sexuality

On the phone

…Show That USB Plug Who's Boss