Sometimes You Just Get Spanked by Technology, Y'know?

Coworker on phone with client: Sorry for the delay, I just got a new laptop and I'm still working out all the kinks… And it is really kinky!

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on December 4, 2014
Coworkers, Customers, On the phone, Pennsylvania, Sexuality, Technology, Words

At Phone Saks Fifth Avenue

Coworker on phone: How can I help you? Ummm… Okay. Sir, is everything alright? Well, you seem to be breathing a little heavy. No, I can’t help you with that. You should probably go out and buy a magazine. I’m hanging up now sir [hangs up]. Fucking freaks.

Spring Street and Cleveland Avenue
Columbus, Ohio

Overheard by: Ari

Posted on December 4, 2014
Coworkers, Default, Gripes, Ohio, On the phone, Sexuality

The Ponies Are Probably in There Somewhere

Coworker, on phone with husband: Well, I think they fell out of my… (pause) That's alright, there's a lot of shit to clean up.

Iowa City, Iowa

Overheard by: Shocked and Awed

Posted on November 29, 2014
Coworkers, Family members, Health & Hygiene, Iowa, On the phone, Restroom

I Know That’s Hard to Swallow, But It’s True

Engineer on phone with supplier: Well, I didn’t mean to cram Siemens down your throat.

5th Avenue
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia

Posted on November 28, 2014
Canadia, Default, Engineers, Names, On the phone, Technology, Words

That's What Our Bin Of Spare Nipples Is For

Angry manager on phone to late employee: I don't care if your nipples fall off! You need to get your ass in here now!

Arlington, Virginia

Overheard by: Nic

Posted on November 28, 2014
Body Parts, Bosses and Underlings, Office Politics, On the phone, Virginia

Plus, I Love Being Huge

Female cubicle dweller on phone: Without those steroids, I'm not even functionable.

Marlborough, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Functional Coworker

Posted on November 28, 2014
Employees, Health & Hygiene, Massachusetts, On the phone, Substance Use & Abuse

As That Office Safety Video Clearly Demonstrated

Office guy: You can scroll with your tongue.
Office lady: Yeah, but it doesn't let you butt-dial.

Vancouver
Canadia

Overheard by: LJ

Posted on November 27, 2014
Body Parts, Canadia, Coworkers, On the phone

I Evidently Received Some Misinformation from the Voices in My Head

File clerk #1: How dare you call me lazy!
File clerk #2: What?
File clerk #1: You said I was lazy on the phone!
File clerk #2: I did not! I said you were crazy! Not lazy!
File clerk #1: Oh, okay, I am sorry!

Phoenix, Arizona

Posted on November 26, 2014
Arizona, Coworkers, General Idiocy, On the phone, Words

They’ve Got the Coroner on Speed-dial

Maintenance guy on cell: There’s too many overloaded powerstrips in this building and all of the fire extinguishers are expired…you want me to call somebody?

1040 Old Yellow Creek Road
Vanleer, Tennessee

Overheard by: beth lankford

Posted on November 24, 2014
Blue Collar, General Idiocy, On the phone, Questions, Tennessee

Hey, Who Doesn’t Have Stuff in the Freezer That Needs a Decent Burial?

Man on phone: Okay, so I heard you have a raccoon in your freezer.
[Pause]Man on phone: How did it get there?
[Pause]Man on phone: Did you kill it? What do you plan do with its body? What do you mean no one wants it?

S. Sycamore Street
Elizabethton
Tennessee

Overheard by: concerned for the racoon

Posted on November 21, 2014
Animals, Death, Default, Meals and Snacks, On the phone, Tennessee, Violence, Weirdness

On the phone