You Expect That of a Mage, Though

Gamer on phone: That good, huh? Wait, what do you mean by “He didn’t finish”? You guys put sex on hold for World of Warcraft! No way, that’s dedication.

Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Sex > wow FTW

Posted on February 19, 2015
Compliments, Default, Dorks, Geeks, & Nerds, On the phone, Sexuality, Technology, Texas, Time Management, Weirdness

Liza Minnelli Lights Up the Stage in Victor/Valtrex

50-something lady on the phone: Do you want a sexual relationship or not? I thought that's what you wanted. (pause) I thought that's what you wanted! (pause) Yes, Victor, I've been taking my medicine. I've been taking my medicine on the same schedule every day!

Evansville, Indiana

Posted on February 19, 2015
Employees, Health & Hygiene, Indiana, On the phone, Questions, Relationships, Sexuality, Wishes

I'm Entertaining and Incomprehensible

Sales rep on phone with client: I am Cajun. Yes–that's right: I'm white trash French.

West Village
Manhattan, New York

Posted on February 19, 2015
Customers, Insults, New York, On the phone, Sales, Weirdness

4PM I’m Going Home Early

Co-worker on phone: …Yeah, yeah, the shovel. And the hatchet, I’ll definitely need a hatchet.

1390 Timberlake Manor Parkway
St. Louis, Missouri

Overheard by: Durp

Posted on February 18, 2015
Coworkers, Missouri, On the phone

Do You Solemnly Swear to Tell the Hose Truth and Nothing but the Truth?

Office chick on phone: I know! He was all, ‘I really like your hoses…’ I did — I told him I liked his hoses as well — I’m not rude.

Itasca, Illinois

Overheard by: Terry

Posted on February 15, 2015
Compliments, Gossip, Illinois, On the phone, Possible Sexual Harassment

Ooo, Glitter!

Woman on cell in bathroom: I'm revitalizing my vagina.

Marlborough, Massachusetts

Posted on February 14, 2015
Body Parts, Employees, Massachusetts, On the phone, Sexuality, Weirdness

Mary's Brain Rejects Her Personality Transplant

Admin on phone: Hello? (pause) Oh, hi Mary, this is Bob. Oh, wait. No. Hi, Bob, this is Mary! (laughs)

Middletown, New York

Overheard by: cubicle neighbor

Posted on February 14, 2015
Admins, General Idiocy, Names, New York, On the phone

I've Been Turning Them Inside Out for Weeks Now

Banker on phone to call center (shouting): I need the washing machine and dryer installed in my house by tonight! This is completely unacceptable. Tonight! Do you understand? This isn't a debate! (now exasperated) It's an emergency: I've got no clean underwear left.

London
England

Overheard by: So many answers, so many questions

Posted on February 12, 2015
Clothes, Financial Folk, Gripes, Health & Hygiene, London, Offers and requests, On the phone

Hey, This Actually Is Fun!

Voice on phone: Hi. I just wanted to ask if you’re open today?
Employee: No, we’re not. I just thought it would be fun to come over here on my free day. That it?
Voice on phone: … Well, that was rude [hangs up].

Cell phone store
Kansas City, Missouri

Posted on February 12, 2015
Comebacks, Default, Missouri, On the phone, Questions, Retail, Smart Employees, Time Management

I Suppose That Does Make It Worse, Sir

Editor, on phone with reader: Sir, the phrase “Stick a sock in it” is pretty common. It’s a common phrase.
[Pause.]Editor: It’s no one’s sock, sir. It’s not a threat.
[Pause.]Editor: Well, I disagree. I think it is a pretty common phrase and I think everyone understood what I meant.
[Pause.]Editor: No, sir, it’s not my sock. It’s nobody’s sock.

Walnut Street
Green Bay, Wisconsin

Posted on February 10, 2015
Clothes, Compare and contrast, Default, On the phone, Publishing, Threats, Weirdness, Wisconsin, Words, Writers and Editors

On the phone