Speaking Of “Expanding at an Incredible Rate”! Ba Dum Bum!

Boss on phone: We really want to focus on your company in 2009. The alternative energy sector is expanding at an incredible rate, and I… (pause) Really? Rape?

Williamstown
Australia

Overheard by: Kate

Posted on February 27, 2015
Australia, Bosses, Office Politics, On the phone, Questions, Sexuality, Technology, Violence

You Win This Round, My Evil Queen

Chick: Hello?
Dude: Hey.
Chick: Take me off speakerphone!
Dude: [Picks up phone] Don’t order me around like that!
Chick: Ha, ha… I like how you took me off speakerphone first and then told me not to order you around.
Dude: You are such a princess… Am I on speakerphone?
Chick: Yup.
Dude: Jerk.

403 & Highway 10
Mississauga, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: who’s the boss?

Posted on February 27, 2015
Canadia, Coworkers, On the phone

What Can I say, it Gets his Wife hot

Coworker on phone: You’d be an amazing human being if you brought me some nibbles on your way here. If not, then you’re clearly the mongoloid I always suspected you to be.

401 West Clarendon Avenue
Phoenix, Arizona

Posted on February 24, 2015
Arizona, Coworkers, Dumb Bosses, Insults, Meals and Snacks, Offers and requests, On the phone

And That Uzi? What Were You Thinking?

Co-worker, on phone with 9-year-old son: I’m not happy with you. I heard you were a bad boy at camp. They told me you hit one of the other kids with a golf club. You shouldn’t do that. You could hurt someone.

371 Hoes Lane
Piscataway, New Jersey

Posted on February 23, 2015
Coworkers, General Idiocy, Gripes, New Jersey, On the phone, Violence

Don't Worry– She Just Means Her Bowels.

Young man on speakerphone: Let's set something up for next week then. When is good for you?
Lady who should have retired twenty years ago: You pick the day, I'm all loose.

Ottawa
Canadia

Posted on February 20, 2015
Canadia, Coworkers, On the phone, Questions, Sexuality, Time Management, Weirdness

Since My Husband Was Turned to Stone

Manager on phone to client: Yeah, that’s like someone watching me take a shower, and after two kids, no one wants to see that.

1120 NW Couch Street
Portland, Oregon

Posted on February 20, 2015
Gripes, On the phone, Oregon

You Expect That of a Mage, Though

Gamer on phone: That good, huh? Wait, what do you mean by “He didn’t finish”? You guys put sex on hold for World of Warcraft! No way, that’s dedication.

Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Sex > wow FTW

Posted on February 19, 2015
Compliments, Default, Dorks, Geeks, & Nerds, On the phone, Sexuality, Technology, Texas, Time Management, Weirdness

Liza Minnelli Lights Up the Stage in Victor/Valtrex

50-something lady on the phone: Do you want a sexual relationship or not? I thought that's what you wanted. (pause) I thought that's what you wanted! (pause) Yes, Victor, I've been taking my medicine. I've been taking my medicine on the same schedule every day!

Evansville, Indiana