Office peon: Will the office gift exchange be unisex?
Boss (seriously): That's inappropriate in the workplace.
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: beth the observer
Office peon: Will the office gift exchange be unisex?
Boss (seriously): That's inappropriate in the workplace.
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: beth the observer
Manager: I’ll just talk a lot… but not really say anything.
5800 South Quebec Street
Greenwood Village, Colorado
Overheard by: leedle
Manager: We really need to work on proper pronunciation on the phones. We really hear a lot of this, and it definitely needs to be improved. For instance: How do you say a-s-k? Anyone? (pause) You say “ask” not “axed”!
Employee: Well, who say dat?
Wayne, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: office grunt #12
Frustrated coworker to outside vendor: I must have gotten the confused department, because they don't know what they're doing.
East Petersburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Michelle
VP to manager: My job is going across the street saying things aren't going very well, and your job is to come to me and tell me things aren't going very well.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: debragail
Boss: What's the hourly rate for Becky? (pause) I want to know her hourly rate. How much per hour?
Lexington, Kentucky
Overheard by: Brian
Attorney #1: The governor suggested that everyone not evacuating write their social security number on their arm in indelible ink. I’m going to go through our database and tattoo the SSN of our richest client on my chest with my children as beneficiaries.
Attorney #2: You better get that tattoo on your ass because you’re going to be floating face down in the floodwater.
8555 United Plaza Boulevard
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Staff member holding disheveled pile of papers: Now I have to go hand this in with the pages all crinkly ’cause someone threw a water balloon into my cubicle.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: culprit
Attorney on phone with secretary: Hello. (pause) A package? Who's it from? He brought it by hand? Can you open it for me? Just want to make sure it isn't a bomb. (pause) What? No, not like that, I mean a legal bomb. Like detrimental paperwork.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Office Manager
Suit #1: Hey, did the DB team ever send you that data for your report?
Suit #2: No.
Suit #1: Can't you just make up the numbers?
Suit #2: I would, but I already made up 60% of the numbers in the report.
Suit #1: 60%?
Suit #2: Yeah, generally 40% of the numbers in a report have to be accurate. It's an accepted standard.
Cleveland, Ohio
