Offers and requests

The Big News

Site

On Wednesday we will be launching OverheardInTheOffice.com. This will be the site for all the things you overhear over the cubicle walls at work, as well as the BS that people spout during meetings. Is your boss an a-hole? Does he “leverage” his idiocy “proactively” into hilarious quotes? Then send them to us here. We’d like as many submissions as possible before we go live, from all over the country (and the world)!

Banner

In addition, we need a new banner for the site. All you arty types: take our logo [gif | PSD] and run with it. We’ll use a bunch of the best ones, and we’ll give you credit and a link. E-mail us your work here (with “Overheard in the Office” in the subject line).

11AM Call Cable Guy

Co-worker #1: Come on, we need to go.
Co-worker #2: Hold on, my wife just called and asked me to call the
cable guy to cancel his appointment.
Co-worker #1: Why couldn’t she call him herself?
Co-worker #2: Dude, she’s at work.

408 C Street NE
Washington, DC

Chick Becomes VP and Loses All Sense of Decorum

VP: You’ll need to sit between [Jake] and I at the next meeting so I don’t kick his ass.
Peon: I’ll hold him if you’ll hit him.

1500 Hampton Street
Columbia, South Carolina

Better Check His Briefcase for Virgins

Suit #1: Why didn’t you guys invite [Joe] to eat with us?
Suit #2: Well, we asked him to come but he responded with gibberish and broke out in foreign tongues.
Suit #3: Yeah, I think he’s a terrorist.

US Department of State
2121 Virginia Avenue
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Bradley

It Depends on the Location of His Mouth

IT guy: Here, can you hold the microphone while he talks?
Account Manager: Sure. But can you tell me, what’s the sensitive part here? Is it just the tip? Or the whole head?

155 N. Pfingsten Road
Deerfield, Illinois

It’s Hard to Pay Attention When You’re Speaking in Glyphs

Co-worker: Okay class, now I will read the dialogue to you and
afterwards ask you questions about it.

He reads the dialogue.

Co-worker: So class, I didn’t actually hear and don’t remember anything that I just said so can someone tell me?

Beijao, Shunde, Foshan
Guang dong, China

Overheard by: lost in translation

Don’t Piss Off Jesus. Just Don’t Do It.

Customer: Well, maybe I could find something at a lower price that needs fixed up. I do a lot of remodeling work.
Real-estate agent: Sir, if you’re a carpenter you won’t be able to afford anything in this area.
Customer: I’m a contractor and I have more money than I know what to do with. If I say I’m going to climb into your ass and renovate, that’s what I’m going to do.

109 Lafayette Street
New York, NY

Overheard by: Dirtpatch

Maybe It’s Not Bob You Should Be Roasting…

Co-worker #1: We’re having an office roast for Bob on Friday, since it’s his last day.
Co-worker #2: What do I need to bring?
Co-worker #1: You know, jokes, stories about him, like that.
Co-worker #2: That’s it? Who’s going to cook the roast?

2155 S. Bascom Avenue
Campbell, California

Don’t Worry, You Can Think About It All Weekend

Facilitator: Would you like me to advance to the next slide?
Presenter: No, thank you. I’ll catch up in a moment. I just thought myself into a corner.

200 Seaport Boulevard
Boston, Massachusetts

The Dark Side Of Rubber Stamping

Guy #1: Oh, that's sticky. Touch it.
Guy #2: I don't want to touch it. I just washed my hands.
Guy #1: Come on!
Guy #2, touches rubber stamp: Oh, that is sticky! Gross!

DePaul University
Chicago, Illinois

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Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist