Boss: The incentive this month is: the person with the most accounts will get a steak dinner on me. And you can bring your boyfriend or girlfriend or whatever, you don't have to eat alone, I'll pay for them too.
Female sales rep: What if I have like eight boyfriends?
Boss: Well, then you're a whore. I don't know what else to tell you.
Charlotte, North Carolina
Sandwich artist: What kind of sandwich do you want?
Guy: I’m a vegetarian, so I want the veggie sub.
Sandwich artist: What items do you want on it?
Guy: Everything in the picture… And throw some chicken on there.
Sandwich artist: You can’t have chicken on that! Chicken is meat!
Guy: Chicken ain’t meat! Just put it on there!
Subway
Charlotte, North Carolina
Office girl #1: Where were you yesterday!
Office girl #2: I was sick, sorry.
Office girl #1: Sick with what?
Office girl #2: Head cold… My nose was running really bad.
Office girl #1: Oh, yeah? What color was the snot?
Office girl #2: Ummm… Clear-yellowish-like.
Office girl #1: No infection — you could have come in!
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Overheard by: Why would she answer that??
Records tech: I used to have more vacation time before I worked [in this department]! But I guess since I started taking vacations…
Manning Drive
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Overheard by: seftiri
Girl: Yeah, so I have to go buy this see-through tank top and a see-through skirt for tennis. It’s so stupid. And I will have to wear another tank top underneath my see-through tank top and some shorts to cover up my balls–I mean… [laughs really hard]
Career Center
Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Overheard by: not-so-smart asian.
Chick: Dude, you’re such a poser. You talk about food all day long and then go home and eat salad. You’re not a real fatty like me. Talk to me when you join the club.
500 West 4th Street
Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Customer: Why did my policy cancel?
Secretary: For non-payment, sir.
Customer: But I never got a bill.
Secretary: You mean, the one you handed me when you walked in with a due date of January 30th*?
Customer: Yes, that bill.
Secretary: It wouldn’t have canceled if you had paid this bill, sir.
Customer: Well, I’m not going to renew that policy, then…
Secretary: There is nothing to renew, sir — it canceled for non-payment!
977 Yadkinville Road
Mocksville, North Carolina
Overheard by: Karen
Office girl: My mom said she almost wrecked her car the other day because she was watching Elvis pick up trash on the side of the road. My mom said he was picking up trash in his jumpsuit, right there on the side of the road.
Office guy: Elvis was doing a little community service, was he?
Charlotte, North Carolina
Customer: These new labels are awful. Just awful! Why did you change them? I hate them.
Pharmacist: I’m sorry, sir, but I don’t have any control over the labels.
Customer: They don’t even tell me when it’s time to refill my ‘scription. When am I supposed to refill my ‘scription?
Pharmacist: … When you run out of medication, sir.
Customer: Well, how in the hell am I supposed to know that?
CVS/Pharmacy
High Point, North Carolina
Peon on phone: No, no, I believe that you sent it. I just didn’t receive it. I even told Jen* that you wouldn’t drop the ball. You are on the ball. You are on balls I haven’t even seen yet.
Charlotte, North Carolina
Overheard by: OMG
