Ditzy babe: Mr. Allen*? In the reading last night it said that semen had a high sugar content. Is that right?
Mr. Allen: That’s right.
Ditzy babe: So, does that mean it’s bad for your teeth?
AP Biology class
Rochester, New York
Ditzy babe: Mr. Allen*? In the reading last night it said that semen had a high sugar content. Is that right?
Mr. Allen: That’s right.
Ditzy babe: So, does that mean it’s bad for your teeth?
AP Biology class
Rochester, New York
Attorney: Okay, I’m leaving to catch my train now — it’s Rosh Hashanah.
Receptionist: Wow! You’re a Jew, too? There are so many of you people in this office!
Big law firm
New York, New York
Blonde admiring coworker’s haircut: He did a good job. I like that cut a lot.
Redhead: Thanks! I like it, too. It just feels a little greasy ’cause of all that stuff he uses.
Blonde: Ew. Yeah. I hate Pompeii.
Rochester, New York
Overheard by: goofopet
Librarian: Have you met the new assistant director? He reminds me a lot of Randy — you know — Ralphie’s little brother from A Christmas Story. Nobody wants to hang out with him. The other day I asked him how he was, and he actually held up a piece of rope and said, ‘Oh, I’m hanging in there!’ and gave me a creepy smile.
60 7th Street
Garden City, New York
Overheard by: Grace
Distressed middle-aged man to wife: Well, that’s what happens when you give spiked eggnog to old people!
1250 Broadway
New York, New York
Overheard by: Confused Passerby
Waitress: What can I get for you this evening?
Tourist: My brother here really wants to try some sushi, but he’s never had any.
Brother: I’m afraid I can’t handle the sushi.
Waitress: Oh, honey, no man can handle the sushi.
Sushi Samba
New York, New York
Middle-aged secretary #1: Stuart* just farted in my ear. He was standing next to me when I was sitting at my desk, and he fucking farted in my ear!
Middle-aged secretary #2: Ew. I’ve been known to let one slip myself. And the pussy farts are the worst, because you can’t control them.
Middle-aged secretary #1: I see we’re keeping it real.
Law firm
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: ginny
Male coworker to deskmate: I’m still waiting for Emmitt Smith and Jesus to accept my MySpace friendship.
466 Lexington Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Ro
Female coworker: Did you hear that Bobbi lost her father?
Chorus of ‘Awwws’ from other coworkers.
Male coworker: Why doesn’t she look in her cunt? Everyone else seems to have been in there.
Ruby Tuesday’s
Carle Place, New York
Overheard by: Big Larry
Female boss: Well, there’s other ways to handle it.
Male boss: I know. It becomes, ‘Why should I fire you when I can make your job miserable and make you quit?’
55th Street and 3rd Avenue
New York, New York
