Student #1: What's Joe's last name?
Student #2: Joe who?
Upstate New York
Student #1: What's Joe's last name?
Student #2: Joe who?
Upstate New York
Office girl #1 in skimpy outfit gathering promotional material: You look whipped.
Office girl #2: Yeah… I had a date. I didn’t get home until four A.M.
Office girl #1: I didn’t get to sleep until four A.M., either, but that’s because I was having sex… with my man…
Office girl #2: Yeah, I was at a bar. It was the first date. We got really drunk and I rode him in the booth.
Office girl #1: Nice.
1142 Broadway
New York, New York
Overheard by: Hellooo… I am sitting right here!
Chick: I never understood the design of that thing, but I've had it in my mouth a thousand times.
Dude: Yeah, me too.
Dental Office
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: I've never had it in mouth
Agent #1: So, I see this girl, you know, in the grocery store. And she’s just this freak of a girl. A tall, thin freak. And it’s like this beam of light just descends on her, basking her in the smell of success. You know those moments?
Agent #2: The moments where you see tall, thin freaks?
Agent #1: Well, yeah — it’s like time stands still and you know you’ve just gotten the gold.
Agent #2: Yeah. It’s a religious experience.
Agent #1: Completely. Completely religious.
Outside DNA modeling agency, 5th Avenue
New York, New York
Wholesale meat salesman to customer on phone: We've got 12-inch weiners on special.
Fairbank Road
Ashville, New York
Paralegal #1: I’m not sure what’s going on with the boxes, they kind of keep me in the dark about these things.
Paralegal #2: Yes…they do treat us like mushrooms.
200 Park Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: GJG
Suit #1: He was an okay analyst and he knew a lot about the markets, but–
Suit #2, interrupting: –So what was the problem?
Suit #1: Well, he was from the South so he couldn’t write very well.
110 Wall Street
New York, New York
Cube girl on phone: And I’m having a really bad day. I just licked an interoffice envelope.
New York, New York
Co-worker #1: “Telephony”? Really? That’s a word?
Co-worker #2: Yeah, I know. I hate when words that usually end in “e” suddenly end in “y.” It’s like finding yourself in a world with neither floor nor ceiling.
Co-worker #1: …You’re freakin’ nuts, dude.
105 Avenue O
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: Dani
Coworker #1: This weekend I was Wiiing for Jesus.
Coworker #2: What the hell? You took a piss for God?
Coworker #1: No, you moron — Nintendo Wii. I played at my church’s youth group fair… You are one sick bitch.
Binghamton University
New York, New York
Overheard by: Cube Farmer
