New York

This Would've Been a Good Seinfeld Episode

Cubicle guy: Man, you wanna hear something funny? My dry cleaner got shot today. What am I gonna do? I got dry cleaning to pick up!
Cubicle gal: What? Oh my god! That's horrible!
Cubicle guy: I know. But what am I gonna do about my dry cleaning? I can't just go over there and say like, “hey, sorry he got shot, but can I get my dry cleaning?”
Cubicle gal: Yeah–that wouldn't be good. Maybe you could wait a couple of days and then go pick it up. Besides, if you go today you might become a suspect.
Cubicle guy: Yeah, that's what I'll do… Good thing it's not a suit I need for the weekend.

Manhattan, New York

What Else Am I Supposed to Do with a Tongue This Long?

Project manager: Stop making love over the phone!

810 Seventh Avenue
New York, New York

Brenda Found Her First ATM Experience Oddly Thrilling

Excited colleague: … So it came out like diarrhea!

452 5th Avenue
New York, New York

4PM I’m Calling It a Day

New guy: It’s so dull here. I’m using all my energy just to stay awake, which is making me sleepy.

10 Rockefeller Plaza
New York, NY

2PM Summer Internship Starts

Intern: Where’s will-call? I have to drop off tickets.
Security dude: Will Call? Who’s that? [Calls manager over] Manager chick: You’re looking for Will?

662 6th Avenue
New York, NY

Kids Get Sucked Into Those Like Quicksand

Producer to receptionist: Hey, do you have that intern's cell number? I'm trying to see if she can come in at 8 on Monday.
Receptionist: Yeah, I just called her. She's in the middle of, like, a Jonas Brothers concert or something.

Manhattan, New York

Don’t Forget to Order Flowers for Sunday!

Suit #1: So your mother thinks the tsunami is what’s causing the bad weather in California?
Suit #2: You never know, she may be right.
Suit #3: Mother is always right…Mother knows best…

30 E. 33rd Street
New York, NY

I'm Afraid He'll Ice Himself

Concerned coworker: Please don't give Brian's pants any more cake.

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Sarah R

And Go Out for Drinks?

Cube dweller #1: How are we going to put this proposal together?
Cube dweller #2: We're going to screw it!

Woodbury, New York

5PM This Office Stinks; I’m Done

Co-worker #1: Hey, do you remember back in school when every school had the smelly kid? You know, he had no particular reason for smelling and no one could never place it but, nonetheless, he had a bad, stale smell to him?
Co-worker #2: Ha, ha. Yeah, I do. Why?
Co-worker #1: If this office was a school, you’d be the smelly kid and you need to do something about it.

270 Madison Avenue
New York, NY

Overheard by: Matty K

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