New York

Cube dweller #1: How are we going to put this proposal together?
Cube dweller #2: We're going to screw it!

Woodbury, New York

Co-worker #1: Hey, do you remember back in school when every school had the smelly kid? You know, he had no particular reason for smelling and no one could never place it but, nonetheless, he had a bad, stale smell to him?
Co-worker #2: Ha, ha. Yeah, I do. Why?
Co-worker #1: If this office was a school, you’d be the smelly kid and you need to do something about it.

270 Madison Avenue
New York, NY

Overheard by: Matty K

Mail teller: You’ll need to call 1-800-USPS. Wait. That doesn’t sound right. It must be 1-800-USPS though.
Customer: Okay. Thanks!

Post Office
Rochester, New York

Overheard by: How many digits in a phone number?

Ghetto woman: I’m only here because I got a gift certificate. I hate Manhattan. I never come here. I can’t stand it. Everyone is just so rude. All the time. So rude. I would never be able to keep my mouth shut to some of these people.
Nail technician: Where do you work?
Ghetto woman: Over here, at sixth and 23rd. I hate it though. That’s why I live out in the county.
Nail technician: Oh! Where do you live?
Ghetto woman: Brooklyn. Tommy! Sit still in that chair for godsakes!!

14th St & 6th Ave
New York City

Overheard by: seriously?

Coworker: But what if these Nigerian e-mails are real and people are making a lot of money off them? What about me? I bet that I could get rich.

249 W 17th Street
New York, New York

Matt: Later we are getting cupcakes…
Jen: Why, is it your birthday?
Matt: Sort of it… it’s my half birthday. So are you in?
Jen: What do you mean half birthday?
Matt: Well my birthday is December 26th.
Jen: Ok -I’ll ask Stacey if she wants in.

Madison Avenue
New York City, New York

VP to secretary's six-year-old daughter: “Hot fireman,” as in “cute” or as in “sweaty”?

568 Broadway, NYC

Admin, screaming into phone: What do you want me to do? I can't do this now, I'm at work! (pause) Well, I can't deal with this now, I'm working! I don't know what to tell you! (pause) I don't have any damn money!! I spent all my money on that private investigator! (pause) I can't do this now, I'm at work!
Boss: Sarah, in my office now.
Admin: I have to go, my boss needs me.

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Jeremy Hawn

Male cube rat #1: What was that guy's name you just hung up with?
(simultaneously)
Male cube rat #2: What are you doing for lunch?
Female cube rat: Dick.

New York City, New York

Radio host: Just give me hand signals–5 fingers, 5 minutes left. 4, 3, 2, 1.
New producer: Okay, but I'm using whichever finger I want for “one minute.”

Varrick St
New York City, New York