Customer: I would like to buy this box of condoms, but I want to know if I can return them if they don't work.
Cashier: What do you mean “if they don't work?”
Customer: You know! If I get pregnant!
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: OhMyGodBecky
Customer: I would like to buy this box of condoms, but I want to know if I can return them if they don't work.
Cashier: What do you mean “if they don't work?”
Customer: You know! If I get pregnant!
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: OhMyGodBecky
Office drone #1 at copier: I want a sandwich.
Office drone #2 at copier: It only prints and copies.
Hawthorne, New York
Office drone to coworker explaining technical process: The only value I bring to this conversation is my ignorance.
Manhattan, New York
Woman on cell, happily: Hi! Are you divorced yet?
Tarrytown, New York
Man #1: What's in the bag?
Man #2: Fake pussies.
Woman: What?!
Man #2: Fake pussy willows.
Manhattan, New York
College admissions rep: I might sound like an idiot, but I look good.
Syracuse, New York
Clueless IT guy setting up new computer: Jeff, there's something wrong with your new computer. I can't get a CD to fit in the drive.
Jeff: Maybe it's because you have the computer upside down.
Rochester, New York
Customer on cell with full cart of groceries: Hello? Yeah, I had to stay at work late 'cos one of the other girls was sick… I just got in my car now.
Mamaroneck, New York
Overheard by: The Cashier
Guy: Wow, you did an amazing job on these illustrations!
Woman: Do I have to keep drawing more illustrations?
Guy: Well, maybe if you sucked we wouldn't ask you to draw anymore.
Woman: Oh.
Guy loudly: Why don't you try sucking? Suck a little harder!
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Scandalous
Boss #1: We need to cut the cost of producing this calendar.
Boss #2: Yes. What's driving the page count?
New York City, New York
Overheard by: sigh….
