Division manager, addressing 200-member division: As part of the new policy, employees will not be allowed to carry over vacation days to next year.
District manager: Could I use days I have left in the first week of January?
Voice from speakerphone: That's next year, asshole!
(stunned silence)
Morristown, New Jersey
Overheard by: Jack Satan
Male supervisor who drives a PT Cruiser: My car’s as much of a chick magnet as me walking into a room without a shirt on making farting noises with my armpit.
473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey
Overheard by: office peon
Coworker, yelling while storming out: The “p” in my name is silent, ya know!
Paterson, New Jersey
Customer: I need to have some work done on my car, and I want to know how much it’s going to cost.
Shop guy: Okay, let’s go take a look.
Customer: Well, the car isn’t here, it’s at my house.
Shop guy: You need to bring the car here if you want an estimate.
Customer: I don’t need an estimate, I just want to know how much it’s going to cost.
Auto body shop
New Jersey
Man: And I said, ‘I think you’ve taken me to the wrong place. It’s full of naked men…’
Princeton, New Jersey
Employee #1: Jane says that she feels nauseous. I think she’s going home.
Employee #2: Well Jane should take a course in English vocabulary, because if she feels nausea, then she feels ‘nauseated,’ not nauseous. To be nauseous is to be disgusting or foul.
Employee #1: You’re kinda a bitch.
Hadley Road
South Plainfield, New Jersey
Overheard by: Quitting soon
Admin to intern: Our lives are not just about the dots. (to other interns) These banks, they get married, change their names… (in baby voice) Have babiiiieeesss.
Exchange Place, New Jersey
Peon #1: I gotta call ’em. They’re in Georgia. Is it too early?
Peon #2: What do you mean?
Peon #1: Aren’t they behind us? What time is it there? … Where’s Georgia?
Clements Bridge Road
Barrington, New Jersey
Overheard by: worker on Eastern time
Angry sales rep: I hate how Amazon thinks it knows me.
New Brunswick, New Jersey
Overheard by: Not Your Friend Either
Coworker: I told her she's a bitch. She's 8. I said “it's okay that you're a bitch. I'm a bitch. Your mom is a bitch.”
Jersey City, New Jersey
