Ad rep on the phone with client: So, Wendy isn’t my real name, but I changed it to Wendy, because I like Peter Pan so much. Like, even as a kid, I used to jump out of windows.
Gulf of Mexico Drive
Longboat Key, Florida
Ad rep on the phone with client: So, Wendy isn’t my real name, but I changed it to Wendy, because I like Peter Pan so much. Like, even as a kid, I used to jump out of windows.
Gulf of Mexico Drive
Longboat Key, Florida
Worker #1: I wish I lived in a time where we could call women what they really are.
Worker #2: What should we call them?
Worker #1: Whores.
Herndon, Virginia
Person #1: Remember our old boss that nine people quit because of?
Person #2: Um, how could I not remember crazy McBitcherson?
Person #1: Well, two people have already quit because of her at her new job. My roommate works there.
Person #2: Wow. Someone should start a blog about her and entitle it: “That bitch is whack”.
Person #1: I’m on it!
Washington, DC
Manager: Alyssa calls burritos “burros.” What's the difference? I've always heard it called “burrito.” What do you call it?
Graphic artist and authentic Mexican: “Taco grande.”
Web designer and office coquette: That was my nickname in high school.
Sex Toy Company
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Looks like Diva
Tech guy on phone: It doesn't work? You let Jeff touch it?! You let Darth Moron touch it!
Time Warner Cable Offices
New York
Over the loudspeaker: Tiny Steve*, please call 3-8-1*. Tiny Steve… Where is Tiny Steve?
Tampa, Florida
Executive: Are you making jokes about my weight again?
Assistant: No, I always call you “The big g”. The “g” stands for “goodness”.
Avenue of the Americas
New York City, New York
Technician loudly on cell, working in server room: Yeah! His name's “golden.” (pause) You know, like “golden shower.”
Anchorage, Alaska
Senior: Isn’t “Butternut Bread” a brand? I know there is Mrs Baird’s, Iron Kids… Sunbeam…
Intern: Oh, there’s a strip club around here with a one-armed stripper named Sunbeam… But we call her “Nub”.
Senior: [Silence.]
Houston, Texas
