Queer (in tears): What you did hurt me, it hurt me to the core!
Fag hag: What are you talking about?
Queer: That was my song, I sing that song–you stole it from me!
Fag hag: It's a song, it's karaoke…fucking get over it!
Queer (still in tears): You don't understand, it's my song!
Brooklyn, New York
Manager: Where's Mike Love's file? I need Love by 9 o'clock!
Richmond, Virginia
New office girl: Oh! You just had to go and print on the noisy tractor-feed printer. Now I can't hear my song!
(printer stops)
Old office girl #2: Is that…?
Old office girl #3: The Titanic Song?
Old office girl #2: Are you serious?
Old office girl #3: THIS is your song?
Charlotte, North Carolina
Tech guy to intern: If you take that network diagram, cut and paste it into word, save it as an mp3 and play it back, it will be circus music.
Solana Beach, California
Legal assistant #1: Do you know Andy Samberg?
Legal assistant #2: Yes.
Legal assistant #1: What was his other song? Not “I'm on a boat”…
Legal assistant #2: “Jizz in my pants”?
Legal assistant #1: Oh, I thought it was “jizz on my face”. Wait… Am I on speakerphone?
Legal assistant #2: Yes.
(office erupts in laughter)
Irvine, California
Overheard by: Legal Amusement
Office girl: My mom said she almost wrecked her car the other day because she was watching Elvis pick up trash on the side of the road. My mom said he was picking up trash in his jumpsuit, right there on the side of the road.
Office guy: Elvis was doing a little community service, was he?
Charlotte, North Carolina
Coworker: It's like looking at livestock. Bull walks by? Oh, it's a bull. Cow walks by? Oh, it's a cow. Lady Gaga walks by? Oh, it's Lady Gaga without her pants again!
Australia
Male receptionist: I like to listen to Warren G when I'm doing a cryptorchid neuter.
Female receptionist: Why's that?
Male receptionist: Because he lets his nuts hang.
Veterinary Hospital
New York City, New York
