Designer: You shot the Rubik’s Cube contest?
Photographer: Yeah. It was like watching fat, naked men greased up in butter sumo wrestling. You don’t want to watch, but you can’t look away.
Designer: … You know, most people use the metaphor, ‘It was like watching a train wreck,’ but you took it to a really dark place.
323 E Grand River Avenue
Howell, Michigan
Overheard by: Dundie
Exec: I’ll be right back, so don’t lock me out.
Cleaning lady: If I knew who the hell you were, maybe I’d consider it.
Exec: I’m the reason you have a job.
725 East 40th Street
Holland, Michigan
Overheard by: INTERN
Teacher: …yeah, they outnumber us thirty to one and we’re not allowed to carry stun guns.
6307 Orchard Beach Road
Cheboygan, Michigan
Little girl #1, finding baby doll: What a cute baby.
Little girl #2: Let's hang it!
Hastings, Michigan
Normal coworker: Jackie* is in Vegas, isn't she?
Less normal coworker: Yeah.
Normal coworker: I wonder how hot it is there?
Less normal coworker: Probably about 107 degrees.
Normal coworker: I don't think I could handle that kind of heat. I would have to stay inside the whole time.
Less normal coworker: Nah, you just sit out under the flamingos and let them pee water on ya. Keeps ya cool.
Ypsilanti, Michigan
Overheard by: Cube Dweller
VP: You’ll have to get a group together and have a good look at his package. Get Kevin involved if possible.
21651 Melrose Avenue
Southfield, Michigan
Distracted doctor: What did you say you inserted into her vagina?
1500 E. Medical Center Drive
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Editor: Oh, get me a cinnamon roll too. Here’s a twenty.
Reporter: A twenty? The only people that have money in the middle of the week are drug dealers.
169 West Nepessing Street
Lapeer, Michigan
Program Manager: Dude! You know that one tech writer, that one chick?
Engineer: Yeah, the older one? She’s a nice person.
Program Manager: Yeah, I know. Man, sometimes she gets like this massive camel-toe.
Engineer: Dude, you need whisper those kinds of things.
Program Manager: But man, you could measure it in inches! Oh shit, here she comes.
She walks by. The Program Manager follows her, turns around seconds later and gives the split finger sign.
41311 Vincenti Court
Novi, Michigan
Manager: It’s just that I don’t want any of those old, white computers. The only good ones are black nowadays.
Engineer: That sounds pretty racist…
Manager: Well, I don’t care.
41000 Vincenti Court
Novi, Michigan
Overheard by: Stefan Bankowski
