Your Editors Have Given Up Trying to Understand Kansas

Director: My weekend sucked… How was yours?
Minion: Great! I woke up Saturday morning with peanut butter on my face. Still can't figure that one out.
Boss, laughing: Did you have patches of hair missing too? I've heard that's bad.
Minion: No, that was my dog.

Lenexa, Kansas

Overheard by: I don't want to work with here anymore

Posted on August 29, 2014
Animals, Body Parts, Bosses and Underlings, Kansas, Meals and Snacks, Sensory Experiences

You Must Think There's a Difference Between Methodists and Baptists

Authoritative man in cafeteria line: Hm. I love twice-baked potatoes.
Man behind him: Aren't twice-baked potatoes the same as mashed potatoes?
Authoritative man in cafeteria line: The difference is that twice-baked potatoes are baked twice.

Swanton, Ohio

Overheard by: Boehmhemian

Posted on August 28, 2014
Compare and contrast, Customers, General Idiocy, Meals and Snacks, Ohio, Questions, Words

Oh. That Diet.

Overweight female employee: I can't have more than two cupcakes because I'm on a diet.

Marlborough, Massachusetts

Posted on August 27, 2014
Diet & Weight, Employees, Massachusetts, Meals and Snacks

Consider Yourself Grilled.

Office girl #1: My son's girlfriend gets sandwiches that are just bread and cheese.
Office girl #2: Just bread and cheese?
Office girl #1: Yep, just bread and cheese.
Office girl #3: No bread? Just cheese?
Office girl #1: Bread and cheese.

Des Moines, Iowa

Overheard by: B Frazier

Posted on August 27, 2014
Coworkers, Family, Iowa, Meals and Snacks, Words

I Also Hope What I Just Swallowed Was Actually a Jelly Bean

Hot lady peon, after spilling candy: I hope he doesn’t come by while I’m on the floor eating his jelly beans.

3900 Paramount Parkway
Morrisville, North Carolina

Overheard by: kevin

Posted on August 26, 2014
Coworkers, Meals and Snacks, North Carolina

Go Easy on the Mayonnaise– It's My First Time

Cockney waitress to customer: We haven't got any chicken sandwiches, but I can do an impersonation!

Rye
England

Posted on August 25, 2014
Customers, Employees, England, Meals and Snacks, Offers and requests, Weirdness

Or We Can Try the Musical Chairs Method Again

Boss man, picking up bill at lunch: Well, I can either pay for this lunch or we can all draw straws to see who gets laid off.

Amherst, Ohio

Overheard by: I hate this place

Posted on August 25, 2014
Bosses and Underlings, Meals and Snacks, Money, Ohio, Out to Lunch, Possible Sexual Harassment, Sexuality

I Think I've Seen This Episode Of Roseanne…

Very pregnant office hoochie: I need to hurry and get outside for one last smoke break before my lunch is over, but I can't go fast with this waddle!

Baton Rouge, Louisiana

Posted on August 23, 2014
Employees, Louisiana, Meals and Snacks, Physical Appearance, Smoking, Wishes

As Demonstrated in the Quality Film, The Battle Of Little Big Horny

Worker #1: What's up wit dat new chick, the one haulin' dirt, she Korean?
Worker #2: Naw, she's Native American.
Worker #1: Dat's hot yo, I wonder what Indian pussy taste like?
Worker #2: (long pause) Maize?

WTC Memorial Site
New York City, New York

Overheard by: Bob

Posted on August 18, 2014
Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Default, Meals and Snacks, New York, Questions, Race, Sensory Experiences

With All Due Respect, Get Me a Fucking Cup of Coffee

Office drone #1: Would you go get me a coffee, please?
Office drone #2: What?
Office drone #1: I asked you to get me some coffee.
Office drone #2: (silence)
Office drone #1: I did say “please.”
Office drone #2: Okay, then. (pause) No, thank you.

Manhattan, New York

Posted on August 17, 2014
Coworkers, Meals and Snacks, New York, Offers and requests, Words

Meals and Snacks