Meals and Snacks

Suit #1: So, you feeling better today?
Suit #2: Man, I’m never eating Indian again.
Suit #1: Can’t have been that bad.
Suit #2: It’s just not manly to pee out your bum.

Hospital
England

Female coworker: Anybody need anything? I'm going to go down to the vending machines, I need a little protein with my carb this morning.
(male coworker gives a suggestive chuckle)
Female coworker: Nothin' outta you! (pause) Wait…crap, I didn't mean it that way!

Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: jearu

CSR: Jesus, this coffee tastes like it was brewed in a colostomy bag.
Admin: I think it tastes delicious.
CSR: You would.

4800 NW 1st Street
Lincoln, Nebraska

Overheard by: customerserviceslave

Woman: Sam* is a big cookie ho, and I’m the cookie monitor, and Lynn* is the cake finisher–
Sam, from next cubicle: –There’s cake?!

Congress Street
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Kitty

Lady at meat counter: I had to buy some from Wal-Mart!
Meat guy: Aww!

Whole Foods
Winter Park, Florida

Overheard by: Sarah

Cook, talking to counter person: I thought he was going to go throw up again, but I guess we needed sirloin.

Columbias
Lexington, Kentucky

Overheard by: 500lb Gorilla

Engineer #1: You ever have one of those drives into work where you swear they’re giving out driver’s licenses as prizes in people’s cereal in the morning?
Engineer #2: Mine came with a free decoder ring!

151 Court Street
Binghamton, New York

Co-worker #1: Did you see that email [Henry] sent?
Co-worker #2 & #3: Yes.
Co-worker #1: What does he mean by “COB”?
Co-worker #2 & #3: Conclusion of business.
Co-worker #1: Oh, I was hoping it meant “commencement of breakfast.”

10900 Stonelake Boulevard
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: T the Munificent

Peon #1: Mmmm… I love these doughnuts. I could even eat them without the icing, the dough is so soft.
Peon #2: Like your flesh.

Tim Mei Avenue
Hong Kong
China

BIG bigwig: I had a tunafish sandwich for lunch and all I can smell is tuna. Come here; smell me. Do I smell like tuna?
Smallwig: Nope. I know how you feel though. It just stays with you. Tuna definitely lingers.

Florida State University
Tallahassee, Florida

Overheard by: so hard not to giggle