Worker #1: If we work here much longer, we are going to die and go straight to hell.
Worker #2: Oh, yeah? Check the address on your business card…where did you think you’ve been working?
Worker #1: Oh! Well, that explains the lack of promotion, compensation, benefits, office politics and your dead-man’s tan!
Worker #2: Close, but the “tan” is from the fluorescent lights.
Worker #1: Hell is as hell does.
800 Boylston Street
Boston, Massachusetts
In respose to several of our wholesale customers reporting strong on-line sales in December; Boss: We do all the work and they make all the money? We have a website too and it’s time we started reminding these people of that! We need to be making a hell of a lot more money areound here than we are now. Time to start firing a few of these so-called “Top Customers”. That’ll fucking show ’em who’s boss!
800 Boylston Avenue
Boston, Massachusetts
Suit #1: So did you get a chance to pull up yesterday’s numbers?
Suit #2: Nope…in all honesty I have been walking around holding a baseball all morning.
601 Congress Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Office drone #1: So I guess birth is the last time when you can fit your entire body through a vagina.
Office drone #2: Huh…
111 Huntington Avenue
Boston, Massachusetts
Co-worker: And I am not exaggerating, but my dog literally chewed my brush up into 75 million pieces.
6600 Campus Circle Drive E
Irving, Texas
Woman #1: So I went to Filene’s Basement last night, and I was–literally–raped, I spent so much money, got a bunch of stuff.
Woman #2: Ooh, what did you get?
24 North Street
Pittsfield, Massachusetts
Facilitator: Would you like me to advance to the next slide?
Presenter: No, thank you. I’ll catch up in a moment. I just thought myself into a corner.
200 Seaport Boulevard
Boston, Massachusetts
Female manager: I'm glad I took the day off! I'd rather be raptured at home.
Marlborough, Massachusetts
New mother from cube: Just because you're mommy dearest doesn't mean you're a bad mom.
Marlborough, Massachusetts
Chubby worker to young girl: Your hat is so cute! My niece would love it. Where did you get it?
Young girl in beaded hat: Limited Too!
Chubby worker, after girl has left: I don't have a niece. I will have that hat!
Chestnut Hill, Massachusetts
Coworker #1: The shit's gonna hit the fan! (group laughter)
Coworker #2: You know, I've actually seen that.
(group pause)
Coworker #1: You see, I used to work on a dairy farm…
Dean's Office, Boston College
Boston, Massachusetts
