Mail room employee: Where's Jane*? I haven't seen her in two weeks.
Lawyer: We let her go on vacation and she won't come back.
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: law lady
Lawyer: Dick worked me pretty hard last night.
Irvine, California
Overheard by: Cassie Bee
Lawyer on phone: My understanding is that he works in a restaurant, not a bordello.
Huntington, New York
Paralegal #1: I'll be right back. Don't tell anyone, I'm just gonna go take the boss's car for a spin. And I'm gonna go 113 miles per hour.
Paralegal #2: Have fun!
Law Firm
Indiana
Arrogant attorney, in disgust: I would never do yard work. It would make me feel…poor.
Washington, DC
Lawyer: Did you know there was a gun in the house?
Defendant: No.
Lawyer: Did you hold the gun at any point?
Defendant: No.
Lawyer: Did you threaten anyone with the gun?
Defendant: I don’t remember.
Courthouse
Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: not a juror
Legal assistant to coworker: If I'm going to kill my liver, I'm sure as hell not going to let ibuprofen do it –I'm going to have fun and let alcohol do me in.
Durango, Colorado
Judge: Do you read, write, and understand English?
Defendant: Sometimes.
Judge: When don't you?
Defendant: When I party!
Courthouse
Norristown, Pennsylvania
Woman on phone: I got a letter from the insurance agency. What should I do?
Lawyer: What does the letter say?
Woman: Aren't you a lawyer?
Lawyer: Yes, but I need to see what the letter says.
Woman: You're e a lawyer. You should know these things.
Lawyer: Without reading it, I don't know.
Boston, Massachusetts
Paralegal: I fell in love with Edward. It killed me that he left Bella. Killed me.
Austin, Texas
