Attorney #1: Back in college my girlfriend got mono, but I didn't. I attribute it to having an immune system like Vince Neil.
Attorney #2: That guy could fight off the HIV!
County Courthouse
Norristown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Lan
Attorney #1: Back in college my girlfriend got mono, but I didn't. I attribute it to having an immune system like Vince Neil.
Attorney #2: That guy could fight off the HIV!
County Courthouse
Norristown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Lan
Attorney on phone: She's a full-time mommy and a full time lawyer. I don't know how she does it.
Eavesdropping legal assistant, muttering: That means she's only part-time…
Austin, Texas
Male lawyer, presented with basket of assorted candy bars for his birthday: Wow, Skybar, Fifth Avenue! I haven't seen some of these candy bars since the 1970s.
Cute secretary: I was checking out your Clark Bar before.
Male lawyer: I'm flattered!
Law office
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: Big Larry
Attorney: It's not so cold out.
Secretary: Is that why your nose is bright red?
Attorney: No, that's because I've been drinking.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: amused intern
Female paralegal: Did you read that article I sent you?
Aussie male coworker: That ain't right.
Female paralegal: Indeed. But 45 minutes! That's longer than most men last.
Aussie male coworker, in long-winded explanation: Well, 45 minutes would be a while for coitus. But remember that the seal wasn't actually getting any. 45 minutes is kinda short if you include foreplay…
Female paralegal: Tsk, tsk…give the seal some credit.
Aussie male coworker: Fine. He has moderate sexual stamina.
Senior paralegal: What?!
Chicago, Illinois
Office attorney: What are you guys talking about?
Admin assistant: Roachy cop porn. I mean, roachy popcorn.
Fairfield, Ohio
Temp attorney: That wasn't the first time I've had roadkill.
Richmond, Virginia
Legal consultant: What is the legal issue today?
Transferring girl: Well, this woman said she took her dead boyfriend's sperm in the hospital and now his mother wants it and said she'll be damned if she lets anyone have his baby. His mom also says she'll carry the baby herself if she has to to get a son.
Legal consultant (after pause): Okay, send her through.
Eden Prairie, Minnesota
Overheard by: Stan
Attorney on phone: The thing is that, it is not the teacher's responsibility to get your kids out of bed, it's yours.
Ellicott Square Building
Buffalo, New York
Overheard by: wonders if they would make coffee while they were threre
Attorney: Don't make any appointments for me this weekend, I'm going to a rodeo.
Minion: Are you in it?
Attorney: Yeah.
Minion: I didn't know you rode.
Attorney: Well, if you put enough hardware on it you can ride anything.
Minion: (laughing)
Attorney: I meant the horse.
Minion: (laughing uncontrollably)
Attorney: Get out of my office!
Little Rock, Arkansas
Overheard by: Does it come with instructions?
