Partner: Hello there. Haven't seen you for a while.
Female lawyer: Yeah, you haven't come across me in ages! How did you get away with that?
Partner: It's been on my to-do list.
Sydney
Australia
Partner: Hello there. Haven't seen you for a while.
Female lawyer: Yeah, you haven't come across me in ages! How did you get away with that?
Partner: It's been on my to-do list.
Sydney
Australia
Attorney: It's already been filed with the court! It has a file-mark on it. You can't un-file something!
Austin, Texas
Latin legal assistant, getting off the phone: That lady just told me to jump in a lake.
Dowdy woman: What is that in Spanish?
Latin legal assistant: She said it in English.
Dowdy woman: Yeah, but I want to hear it in Spanish.
Law Firm
Bay Shore, New York
Paralegal: So I ripped her arm off.
Lawyer #1: Wait. What part do I get?
Paralegal: You get her leg.
Lawyer #2: Just don't leave her booty behind.
Indiana
Overheard by: I think I'll be leaving now.
Lawyer on phone: You know Bob* in the development office, the bald guy with the peg leg? Man, I am always having these Freudian slips around him that are so inappropriate. Like one time, we were talking about girls and he came in and I asked “what about you, Bob, are you a leg man?”
Huntington, New York
Overheard by: Lady Lawyer
Lawyer, seeking environmental expert: Yeah, I need a water-and-shit guy. I have the traffic expert already, at least.
Huntington, New York
Attorney, discussing potential vacation destinations: So, I was thinking Finland.
Paralegal: That's great. You know, one of my cousins spent a month in Iceland.
Attorney, exasperated: Iceland is way different from Finland: One's like an island, the other is like an isthmus.
Fort Wayne, Indiana
Overheard by: Betsy
Attorney, leaving voicemail: Hi, this is Kate. I'm just returning your call about the project documents. Feel free to call me back at your earliest convenience. Best, Kate.
(hangs up, then screams) Ohmigod! I just said “best, Kate” at the end of a voicemail. Who does that? Who leaves voice mails like they're writing e-mails?!
Manhattan, New York
Male attorney to female legal assistant going through files on the floor: That's what I like to see, a woman working on her knees.
Elmhurst, Illinois
Overheard by: Joanie
Counselor: Oh, I read about a blind couple that sailed to Australia without any assistance!
Secretary: They think it's Australia. Their kids just pulled them around the harbor for a few days, and took them to outback.
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Sandy Paws
