New girl to male employee: Teach me how to say something sexy in Spanish.
Male employee: Okay. Like what?
New girl: How about “put your dick in my mouth”?
Spa
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Can't Wait Till i Leave
New girl to male employee: Teach me how to say something sexy in Spanish.
Male employee: Okay. Like what?
New girl: How about “put your dick in my mouth”?
Spa
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Can't Wait Till i Leave
Asian girl hanging up phone: Why can’t Asian people speak English?!
133 East 13th Street
New York, New York
Person #1: Where is Marcelo?
Marcelo (walking in conference room): You didn't tell me the time of the meeting changed! You gave me your shaft!
(silence, followed by uncontrollable laughter)
Person #2: Whoever is teaching Marcelo English slang, please stop.
St. Paul, Minnesota
Overheard by: Highly Amused
Sales girl: Oh my God, this girl came in today and she was from, like, China or something, and on the credit card receipt she signed her name in, like, Japanese!
Manager: Ew! You're in America! Come on, learn English!
Ithaca, New York
Foreign coworker: What does it mean, ‘nappy-headed hos’?
333 Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois
Coworker: Hello. I don’t speak English.
Newton, Massachusetts
Older gentleman with thick Slavic accent, leaning over counter towards male cashier: Oh, those are niiice pants.
Cashier, cheeks reddening: Um, excuse me?
Older gentleman: I don't speak English so good. I am European. Your trousers, they are good. How much?
Wal-Mart
Mountain View, California
Overheard by: lith
Spanish teacher, in Spanish: Margarita, what are you doing today?
Margarita: [Mutters something in Spanish.]Student: Did you just say, ‘I’m planning to attend the party where it is raining babies’?
Margarita: Baby shower. I’m going to a baby shower!
Community college
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: oh my
Judge: Do you read, write, and understand English?
Defendant: Sometimes.
Judge: When don't you?
Defendant: When I party!
Courthouse
Norristown, Pennsylvania
Co-worker #1: Will someone please tell me what the fuck is wrong with [Josh]? When he gets up in the morning does he have some kind of funhouse mirror? Does he fucking see Tom Cruise when he looks in the mirror in the morning? Because when I look at him I just see an asshole.
Co-worker #2: Why?
Co-worker #1: He is bullshiting everyone and saying he slept with the new CSR.
Co-worker #2: Does it really matter? She don’t speak English!
2801 Red Lion Road
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
