Mother: Tell your aunt what you want to be when you grow up.
2-Year-Old son: A plastic surgeon!
Mother: And why is that?
2-Year-Old son: Because Mommy needs work!
Miss Saigon Café
Hurst, Texas
Overheard by: needo
Mother: Tell your aunt what you want to be when you grow up.
2-Year-Old son: A plastic surgeon!
Mother: And why is that?
2-Year-Old son: Because Mommy needs work!
Miss Saigon Café
Hurst, Texas
Overheard by: needo
Teen daughter: Daddy, Daddy, the pink Razr is on sale. Will you buy it for me now? You promised!
Father: No, I don’t need you to get pregnant. Now let’s go!
4350 Joslyn Road
Auburn Hills, Michigan
Overheard by: rahneej
Hipster teen on phone: Oh, that was awesome! Like a combination of Fergie and Jesus!
Barnes & Noble
Greenfield, Wisconsin
Overheard by: darkhorse
Son: Do you believe in animal testing?
Mother: Yes and no. I think that it’s fine to do it on all of the extra animals taking up space out there who don’t belong to anyone, but when they take people’s pets from their homes for testing, I think that’s wrong.
4420 Austin Bluffs Parkway
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Father: Did you wash your hands?
Five-year-old kid returning from bathroom: Ummm… I’m pretty sure I didn’t get poop on them.
Dental office
Tigard, Oregon
Overheard by: Robin
Mother: Do they sell headboards here? I think you should get one that’s attached to the wall. They look better.
Young child: I don’t think I’m ready for that kind of commitment.
Home Depot
Perrysburg, Ohio
Overheard by: Treesha
Six-year-old girl at front desk: Do I look sexy?
1 Main Street
Valhalla, New York
Overheard by: Switters
Boy, at 2:30 am: Hi, can I have 240 nuggets?
McDonald's
Halifax, Nova Scotia
Canadia
Mom, pointing to friend’s child: Say ‘Hello’ to Aidan*.
Shy child hiding face in mom’s leg: ‘Lo.
Mom: If you can’t look at him and ‘Hello’ properly then you can’t have swimming lessons. There, I just saved a hundred and fifty dollars!
145 Harlow Street
Bangor, Maine
Overheard by: Kelly
First-grade teacher: CHARLES! Give me those! Those are NAILS! Nails are unsafe and do not belong in your hands.
Student: Pshhh, unless you’re JESUS!
New York, New York
Overheard by: i want to adopt this kid
