Kansas

Associate: Hey, can you come look at my pooter?
Manager: Your what?
Associate: What? … What? Come on, my computer!

Mass Street
Lawrence, Kansas

Overheard by: tara

Director: My weekend sucked… How was yours?
Minion: Great! I woke up Saturday morning with peanut butter on my face. Still can't figure that one out.
Boss, laughing: Did you have patches of hair missing too? I've heard that's bad.
Minion: No, that was my dog.

Lenexa, Kansas

Overheard by: I don't want to work with here anymore

Drone on cell: Yeah, the trial is tomorrow… Well, he figured if he was going to prison for a rape he did not do, the state owed him a freebie.

Overland Park, Kansas

Boss: Whoever thought shit and cinnamon smelled good together?

634 126th Street
Bonner Springs, Kansas

Coworker #1, seeing coworker #2 bring a plate of food: Don't expect this all the time. By the way, thanks for breakfast this morning.
Coworker #2: See? It's quid faux crow!
Coworker #1: Umm… No. It's not.

Leawood, Kansas

Overheard by: The Grammar Nazi

Broker: Does this look like Joe*'s?
Broker's assistant: No, it looks better than Joe*'s.
Broker: Well, I know it's not as big as Joe*'s or anything…

Leawood, Kansas

Dine-in customer, slapping both hands emphatically on table: There are no evil Canadians!

Pizza Hut
Kansas

Overheard by: Salad Shooter

Driver to another: Hey, sorry I hit your head with my little thing when we were playing earlier.

Kansas

Overheard by: dismayed dispatcher

Legal secretary: What's the difference between a Crunch Bar and a Krackle?
Paralegal: I don't know. Maybe different companies make them?
Legal secretary: Yeah, probably.

Wichita, Kansas

Overheard by: Breaking off a piece of that Kit Kat Bar

Hobo to suits: Don't be hatin' on me 'cuz I'm digging in the trash.

Overland Park, Kansas

Overheard by: Cube neighbor