2PM Straightening Up

At the end of Take Your Kids to Work Day…

Bruno*: Everything is askew! Where’s my weedbag? I’ve got some quarters missing. Damn thieving kids.

222 North Lasalle
Chicago, Illinois

Posted on October 5, 2021
Coworkers, Gripes, Illinois, Insults, Money, Substance Use & Abuse

God, I Miss Him

COO: Hey, Dave*! Larry* just called.
VP: Really, how's he doing?
COO: He said to make sure when I see you to say, “Fuck you, Dave*!”

Miami, Florida

Overheard by: UN Reject

Posted on September 19, 2021
Bosses, Florida, Insults, On the phone

Singing Telegram?

Boss: So, your voicemail kicked me off because my message was too short. I can understand it cutting you off if you start in on a monologue, but what if you just want to leave a message saying, ‘Fuck you’?

Rockefeller University
New York, New York

Overheard by: Molly the Mole

Posted on August 5, 2021
Bosses and Underlings, Insults, New York

But That's Why We Have Interns

Red-faced manager: Frozen again! God fucking dammit! Jesus fucking Christ! I'm getting really fucking pissed off at this motherfucking computer!
Nonchalant passerby: Kick it, then.

Plymouth, Michigan

Posted on July 29, 2021
Advice, Coworkers, Default, Employees, Gripes, Insults, Michigan, Technology

9AM Back to Work

Older dude: You know, you shouldn’t bite your nails.
Executive assistant: You shouldn’t be a drunk.

45 West Portal Avenue
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Jerkey

Posted on July 27, 2021
Admins, Bosses and Underlings, California and Northwest, Insults

‘Fuck You’ Was More of a Request Than an Expletive

Manager: Can you gather up the other guys? We have to move a bunch of stuff.
Employee: Fuck you.
Manager: What did you just say to me?
Employee: Fuck you, asshole.
Manager: Are you nuts?
Employee: Fuck you, bitch.
Manager: You’re fired. Get out of here.
Employee: I wasn’t clocked in. You can’t fire me.
Manager walks to computer, clocks him in, says, ‘You’re fired,’ and then clocks him out.
Employee: That’s so unfair.

Circle Centre Mall

Overheard by: Shatmandu

Posted on July 2, 2021
Bosses, Bosses and Underlings, Dumb Employees, General Idiocy, Hiring & Firing, Indiana, Insults, Questions, Time Management

…As I Clearly Explained During Our Wedding Vows.

Cube dweller #1: Sometimes I think I am only here for comic relief!
Cube dweller #2: If that's you're role, then why am I here?
Cube dweller #1: You're my muse, bitch!

Markham
Ontario
Canadia

Posted on June 25, 2021
Canadia, Coworkers, Insults, Relationships

Curtis Discovers He Does Have Standards

Suit #1: Dude, I just looked at the girl from last night’s MySpace page. Tell me again why you didn’t fuck her?
Suit #2: She has birds!
Suit #1: Good enough.

St. Paul, Minnesota

Overheard by: Jordan